Love made Visible

LXXIX. Clip boards and pens.

Mina.

Our 2nd day were spent swimming and we brought the girls to where we had surfed. Luckily no one was injured this time. Just like before we had so much fun as everyone tried and failed. We laughed at everyone's attempt specially Dahyun's expression whenever she's about to fall. Me, Jihyo and Tzuyu were the only ones who was able to stand.

At night, we had dinner at a famous seafood restaurant. When we got home, after taking each turn on the showers, we hang out for a while at the living room and watched tv. We were all tired so a few minutes later one by one we went to our rooms to end the day.

On our last day I woke up early and cooked breakfast for the girls. Pancakes, french toast, bacon and eggs.

We did not plan anything today but just do anything together in the house. We tried PDnim's home theater which we enjoyed too. After watching two movies, we watched an episode of our TTT discussing and laughing at it.

We plan to have barbeque for dinner then a pajama party at the house.

Half of the girls went out to the famous market to buy what we need. The other half stayed and was in charge of set up the living area for the pajama party.

An hour later the girls arrived. We started preparing our dinner. The girls cooked some tteokbokki and Kimchi Jjigae while me, Sana and Jeongyeon were in charge of barbeque and steak.

We had two fire pits. Sana handed me the steaks then handed Jeongyeon her marinated pork and beef to barbeque.

We talked random things while cooking. I noticed Sana had gone quiet.

Me: You okay? You suddenly went quiet there.

She looked at me in her serious look. She was about to talk but then decided not to. It's like she's thinking hard how to say something yet hesitant to say it. Eventually she blurted it out.

Sana: Since it'll be your last night here, why not invite Chaeyoung?

I was surprised for I did not expect that, but I did gave it a thought. The two were looking at me. A few seconds later I answered.

Me: Let's not. I think it'll make things more complicated than it already is.

Sana: Don't you want to see her for the last time?

That stung. I do, badly. I've been thinking about her more often. I see her in all things. Something is always related to her.

Me: I do. But I'm afraid...

I stopped myself from saying it for I can feel myself on the verge of crying.

Jeongyeon: Afraid of not being able to let her go?

I nodded. The tears are now forming.

Me: I've thought about it hard. I've hurt her so many times and seeing her for the last time might hurt even more. But somehow I think the opposite. She somehow looked like she moved on. She already has someone.

Sana: We're not sure of that.

Me: We all know Somi likes girls too. Besides It'll be impossible for her not to like Chaeng.

Sana: What if they're just friends? Are you still not willing to tell her about everything?

Me: I've decided long ago not to tell her. There's no need anyways since I'd be leaving for good.

The pain of leaving her, not seeing her forever hits me head on. I stopped myself from sobbing, I can't be sobbing on my last night.

Sana hugged me and Jeongyeon too. We then stopped talking about it.

After a few minutes we're done cooking. We went inside and took a shower for we stink of smoke.

We all wore the pajama that a fan gave us. After posing for some pictures and posting it to our Instagram, we ate our dinner. After eating we cleaned up and headed for the living area. It's now turned into like a big bedroom. Three mattresses were lined up making it looked like a huge bed. At the side were a table filled with snacks and different juices.

Jihyo unnie made us sit in a circle at the bed and her standing at the center.

Jihyo: Girls. This vacation was so much fun. Yet we know every vacation there's always a "back to reality". This night let's make it memorable for us. We rarely had this moment so I'd like to take this opportunity to be thankful.

She went to the tv and crouched, opening the cabinet,l where she pulled out clip boards and pens. When she faced us all of us groaned, knowing what will happen.

Jihyo: I know. We hate this. But this is highly effective and possibly make us more closer. We might need it for what lies ahead of us.

She then distributed the clipboards and pens.

Jihyo: what you need to do is find a spot anywhere in the house, first floor only, or by the garden where you could write on. 1st paper; write for each member what you're thankful for and write something goofy about that person. 2nd paper; your message for Mina. And for you, message for us.

Oh shoot, I just said earlier I don't like to spend our last night together sobbing. I bet this night there'll be flood of tears.

Nayeon: Yah, I thought this last night should be fun.

Jihyo: it is unnie. The night's not finished after the sharing. The fun comes after.

Twice: Oooh...

We all smiled. I got excited yet nervous too for I'm sure I'd be sobbing when I hear their messages for me.

Jihyo: By the way I'd give you 20 mins. Time starts now!

We were surprised yet scrambled to find our spot. After writing I walked around looking at each of them. I sometimes add notes to my message as I walked. When they noticed me they will smile instantly. Yet their eyes shows how sad they are for me.

I admit I hate seeing their sadness cause it makes even more harder for me.

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Author's note:

Ready your tissue guys... 🤘😅