Falling

48

Carson Hughes

I barely remembered the ride home, my thoughts swimming through my brain and making it too hard to focus on one thing. But I ended up in my driveway anyway. From the time I left the house earlier to now, Mom had made her way home from work. It wouldn't surprise me if she had already fallen asleep. 

I slowly opened the front door and tiptoed into the house, expecting to find Mom asleep on the couch.

"Hey baby," she greeted me, coming out of the kitchen.

"Hey," I replied, my tone bland and quiet.

Her face fell, like she instantly knew something was wrong with me.

"What's going on?" she asked. "Don't say nothing. I see the look on your face. I know it's not nothing."

"I broke up with Vinny."

"Oh, honey," she said, taking me into her arms as tears formed in my eyes. "It's okay."

"It doesn't feel okay," I sniffled. I had to bend down awkwardly to be able to press my head against her shoulder. She placed one hand on the back of my head, stroking my hair.

"It'll hurt for now," she said. "But you'll become stronger from this."

"I just... I feel like I let him down," I cried. "His dad, his brother, they were so against us at the beginning and I just proved them right."

"No," Mom denied, rubbing my back. "If this relationship wasn't working for you, then you did the right thing. Vinny might be disappointed but he cares about you, so he will understand."

"The thing is he's not disappointed in me, he blames himself," I said, letting out a shuddered breath. "And I don't blame him for anything."

What Vinny was going through was beyond me, and it was beyond him too. He didn't always know how to manage his emotions and I truly believed he was working on it, but it was too much for me to stay. I couldn't stay with him while he worked on it and I thought maybe our relationship made it worse for him, added more pressure for him to do better.

"I love him, Mom," I admitted in a whisper.

"I know, sweetie," she cooed in a comforting tone. "But I'm proud of you for knowing when you need to walk away. I wish I knew that at your age. Would've saved me a lot of heartache."

I didn't think any heartache could be worse than what I was feeling right now.

"How about we watch a movie?" Mom asked, pulling her phone out. "I'm just going to call Paul and let him know I'm not going to make it over."

"No, Mom," I groaned. "Don't cancel on Paul for me."

"Carson," she said in a stern tone. "I'm staying home with you whether you like it or not. Paul will understand. I'm sure he's had to comfort Spencer through some heartache."

Yeah, and probably heartache from the same person too.

"We're going to stay here. I'm going to order some pizza for lunch and we're going to watch funny movies," Mom said, standing from the couch. "I'll be right back.

We did everything Mom said we would for the rest of the day. The two of us had gotten through two and a half movies before she fell asleep on the couch beside me. When I noticed her sleeping, I shut the TV off and cleaned up the pizza boxes from the table, putting the leftovers in the fridge.

The last few hours with her had taken the pressure off my heart. I felt lighter, though still saddened.

The next morning, Mom had made me a big breakfast and the two of us ate all of it. Later on in the afternoon, she had to go to work for the night.