Sargent Barnes

Chapter 8

Bucky's POV: 1 month later~

Today is Steve's funeral. Y/n wasn't doing that good. She was heart broken and in a lot of pain. Ever since she's been back, Morgan;Tony's daughter had gotten close to her. That spider kid, Peter, he is also close with her. They hang out quite a bit. Thor visited us a couple days ago, let's just say Y/n is worthy. I was ready to go all we needed to wait for is Y/n. T'Challa died 3 days ago, Shuri is staying with us. There's a lot of tension between Shuri and Y/n.

Bucky: Doll? You ready yet?
Y/n: Yeah... I am... I just needed to calm down.

Sam and I got up and we waited for Y/n to exit the room. When she did she looked down instantly. We got to the funeral and she played "It's been a long, long time". It was Steve's favorite. She started to cry. I held her but she didn't want me to. Like usual. She went to Morgan and Peter where they comforted her. 

Sam: She'll be okay. You can hold her at home. And that's surprising... Look, she went to Shuri.
Bucky: They both need it. What I should've told Shuri is that in a few days I want to do something in honor of T'Challa. 
Sam: You should.

Y/n: Kiss me once then, kiss me twice, then kiss me once again.. It's been a long, long time. Haven't felt like this, my dear. Since can't remember when it's been a long, long time. You'll never know. How many dreams I dream about you. Or just how empty they all seem without you. So... kiss me once, then kiss me twice, kiss me once again. It's been a long, long time...

Her voice was still the same. It's been forever since I've heard her sing like that. She started to break down. That was my que. She was starting to leave. I started to panic. 

Bucky: I'll be back. Don't let them bury him till I get back with her.
Sam: Will do. 

I got up and chased after her. I saw the fear and pain in her eyes. I held her close and she hugged me back trying to calm down. She dug her face into my chest messing up her hair just a little bit. 

Bucky: I'm right here. I got you. 
Y/n: I-I cant wat-watch them. 
Bucky: It's okay. It's okay. But I need you to try for me. Steve would've wanted this. Please, doll. When we get home I can get a bath ready for you and you can take a nap. 
Y/n: Will you dance with me in the kitchen first?
Bucky: I can dance with you right here.
Y/n: Can you?
Bucky: Of course, doll. Alexa replay "It's been a long, long time"

The song replayed. I put my left hand on her waist and my right out in front of her so she could hold it. She threw her right arm over my shoulder and her left in my hand. I swayed back and forth with her in my arms. I kissed her softly trying to get her to smile. She kept crying. That was fine. She started to sing the music and I sang with her. I got her to giggle.

Bucky: I needed that smile.
Y/n: Finish the song with me!! 
Bucky: Okay, okay. 
Bucky&Y/n: Kiss me once then kiss me twice then kiss me once again... It's been a long, long time.

We finished and she was calmed down. We sat back in our spots and she was called up for the speech.

Bucky: You'll be okay.

She nodded and went up. 

Y/n: Uh.. Thank you all for being here today. Um.. I'm sure you all know my famous big brother, Steve Rogers. Um.. Sorry. This is difficult. Back in 1940 Steve had left me out in the streets of Brooklyn by myself. I didn't mind being alone until one day... He just left me and I was being kicked and punched. Bucky, his best friend. I've heard many things about, he came to my rescue. When Steve was and wasn't there his best friend was. Steve got told off. He hated bully's. I remember on day when we were little, Steve chased me around the house playing tag. I tripped over one of my little rag dolls. Steve used our moms sewing scissors and snipped the arms and legs off. He yelled at the doll saying "Nobody hurts my sister! I'll beat you up! Y/n, are you okay?" I had shook my head no... Looking back, I was pretty dramatic. I still can be. He hugged me tight and kissed my scraped knee saying "I won't leave your side. Ever again. You're my princess and no princess shouldn't get hurt. I'll always be there to take the pain away. I promise!" Mom walked in due to my screaming. She saw Steve holding me close. And the chopped up doll.  She shook her head and tried taking me away from Steve. He didn't allow that. I only wish it were still being able to happen. But, all good things always come to an end? Right? Maybe. But with Steve his Legacy will ALWAYS live. When I first got out of the ice, I met this guy... He was wearing some suit. I was new to this world. He held the one thing that my brother had always cherished besides me. That damn shield. I found out the guys name. His name was John Walker. He shook my hand calling himself "Captain America".. I was really mad. That was my brothers title. I hurt this John guy and got the shield back. I had barely found out that my brother 'died' at that point. But as it turns out. He was alive for a little longer. And I spent as much of that time with him as I could. I had gotten in a bad argument with an unnamed man. He told me "You're not allowed back in here until you are with him again". So I chased after him. The most devastating day of my life. If I was able to go back to that day, I would've never fought with this person. Nor would I have to chase after him leaving Steve by himself to die. I never got to find out if he died peacefully or horribly. I wasn't told anything. And I wish I was so that no only I can find peace in this but so could he. Steve is a hero and will have a part in our everyday lives. And I know his memory will still be with all of us. If he wrecked a city trying to hurt the bully back or if it was to save everyone. He did hurt people and ruin a couple lives everywhere he went but he also save MILLIONS of lives. One thing I know that he would've wanted today was to announce the new Captain America to the world. And, after these few words, I also have another person coming in. He is a beloved king and his sister will speak on his behalf. Everyone, please welcome not only my brothers many friends, but also the Falcon... Sam Wilson. 

I was admired by her words. I looked at Sam and nodded he got up and walked to her. She hugged him tightly and he hugged her back. She stepped aside and Sam got a few words in about Steve. Shuri was invited up and Y/n embraced her into a comfortable tight hug. 

Y/n: Everyone, this is Queen Shuri of Wakanda. I'm sorry about T'Challa. 

Shuri said a few words then we got to the burial. As we went to the cemetery, I held Y/n's hand as she was still crying. I turned on the radio but all the channels were about Steve's sudden death. I turned it off and I started to hum. I thought I was a bad singer. Y/n joined in giving me a hurt smile. 

Y/n: Thank you for trying to cheer me up. But, I just want to get this over with. I want to go home. They all say "I'm sorry for your loss".. I DON'T FUCKING CARE IF THEY'RE SORRY!! MY BROTHER DIED! I LEFT HIM ALONE! I'M AT FAULT FOR THIS!! I haven't slept for a freaking month!!! And every time I do I see his lifeless body! When is it all going to be over?! It's not up to them to tell me that they're fucking sorry he's gone!! What did they cause him death? IT'S NOT FAIR!! I NEVER GOT TIME WITH HIM!!! AND THERE IS ALWAYS SOMETHING TO GO ON!!! I CAN'T BREATH!! I'M NOT ABLE TO GRIEVE BECAUSE SOMETHING ALWAYS COMES UP!! When am I the one who gets a break?! The same thing happened 80 years ago!! I almost killed myself because of it!! When will I be the one who gets to just cry myself to sleep and finally be at peace for 8 hours?! When will I be able to sleep with myself? Be okay with what happened? I just want to go home. I want to dance. Then eat and finally be able to sleep. 
Bucky: It's not your fault. You didn't know. You can't control this situation and, doll... They're just trying to be nice. Do you want me to have Sam tell them that you can't make it?
Y/n: No, because our fucking friends show up and ask me if I'm o-fucking-kay. WHEN I'M NOT!! They see it!! Then, don't even get me started on the civilians... I want to bash each an everyone of their questions into the ground with their fucking heads. If I get one more "Are you holding up okay?" or "I'm sorry about Steve/your loss" I'm going to fight someone. 
Bucky: Okay.. I can hold you closely so no one will talk to you.
Y/n: PLEASE do that. I can't handle being here anymore but I have to be here.