Hai.
I'm Matinee Fluffy Unicorn Rainbow Skittle Taco Marshmallow Pumpkin Power Ranger Jackson and I go to Goode High (because there are no other schools in the USA that could possibly be picked). Even though I'm like super pretty and rich and popular... NOBODY LIKES ME!!!
So, my alarm clock went off this morning, making the most obnoxious noise on earth, so I got rid of it and threw it out the window. Then I threw off my covers, walked over to my mirror, and looked in it. I am sooooo ugly! No one will ever like me...
I grabbed a really ugly outfit and put it on. A pink laced short skirt, high black boots, and a cute black spaghetti strap tank. I wrapped a laced sweater around my shoulders and brushed my long, silky, dark brunette hair. My orbs (because eyes is not in the dictionary anymore) are the ugliest ever! Aqua blue orbs were hidden by heavy eyeliner and mascara.
I opened my bedroom door and -ran I mean, took the slide, downstairs.
"WHEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!" I screamed waving my hands in the air, while sliding down the slippery slide.
My dad disappeared when I was little because HE DIDN'T LIKE ME!!!! *sobs*
So my dad (even though I'm pretty sure we just said he disappeared) was cooking me pancakes, eggs, waffles, more eggs, tacos, chicken, turkey, broccoli, skittles, pancakes, waffles, tacos, even more eggs, chicken, more tacos, skittles, and broccoli. MY DAD STARVES ME TO DEATH BECAUSE HE HATES ME! WAAAAAA!!!!! *cries*
"OH MI GOSH DAD! ARE WE IN AFRICA OR SOMETHING? WHERE'S DA BACON?! ARE YOU TRYING
TO STARVE ME?!?!?!" I said. I can't believe he forgot da bacon! "I'M LEAVING THIS PLACE AND RUNNING AWAY!!!!!" I grabbed my magically packed suitcase and ran out the door.
I met my best friend, Abby Happy Pony Sunshine M&Ms Snack Bubblegum Fish Angel Moon Twix, and walked into school. "Heyyyy Matinee Fluffy Unicorn Rainbow Skittle Taco Marshmallow Pumpkin Power Ranger Jackson!!!!!!! Wassup?" My friend said.
"My dad," I said, sobbing, " forgot the bacon this morning. And he hates me now! WAAAAAA!"
"OMG! Poor you!" Abby said.
"IKR!" I said. As me and Abby (because no one uses Abby and I) walked to our Greek mythology class (like when is there ever a class for just Greek mythology?) people kept on hugging us and asking for our autograph. NO ONE LIKES US! EVERYONE WANTS US DEAD!
Just then, the Minotaur came out, but I killed it with my hair extension/sword because I'm a freaking awesome like dat.
And then I blacked out to make it more dramatic and because the author doesn't know what to do next.
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So there's a short chappie. I'm sorry it's so short, but I wanna know if you like.
~teamleo13
YOU ARE READING
Things That Make Me Wanna Facepalm (PJO rants)
RandomJust teeth cringing, facepalm worthy, nails on a chalkboard kinda things that I NEED to rant about. If you want humor, honesty, and a place to rant, read this book. If not, DON'T READ... It isn't like I'm forcing you to read it or anything... DISCL...
