Numb- Demi Lovato and Nick Jonas

11

Demi

"I'm tired of being disappointed."

I looked up into Nick's eyes. Even through the frustration I could see the love and adoration in them. "Nick.." I started, but he shook his head.

"If you're about to say that I'm wrong, hold your breath. I know I'm right. I see the way you look at me, I see the way it hurts you leave me in the morning. You know that I'm right, you're just too scared the admit it."

I pressed my hands on his chest, "You're not wrong. But right now, I can't. I can't trust people with my entire heart that easily Nick! I can't. My body and my mind won't physically allow me to do that. Do I want to love you? Without any doubts in my mind? Or course! You make me feel alive Nicholas! You make me feel like no one else has before! Not even Wilmer! But I can't just fall head over heels in love with you, praying on a chance that you'll catch me!"

Nick shook his head, "Then don't."

I let my arms fall to my sides limply, "What?"

He stepped even closer to me, "Don't fall. Don't fall for me. I didn't fall for you." He smiled softly and stroked my cheek, "I rose in my love for you. I let my feelings grow and mature, I saw you, and I made up my mind. I saw you, and my love has only grown since then. Now tell me.." He lifted my chin so I had no choice but to look into his eyes, "What are you afraid of?"

I took a shuddering breath, "I'm afraid of everything you should be afraid of, and more. The fact that, at any moment you decide, you could rip my heart out of my chest, tear it to pieces, then stomp on it. But you know what?" This time it was me who stepped forward, our chests touching and our lips inches apart, "I'd pick up the pieces, tape them together, and hand ti right back to you. My heart is so mangled, I don't think it has any love left to give. I don't want you to fall in love with me, or rise, or whatever it is you feel. I don't care. Don't. I'm still trying to pick up my pieces, and you can't fix me!"

He shook his head, "I know that I can't fix you. I know that you think you're broken. But you know what? I also know that you are strong, independant, loving, caring, and an amazing person, inside and out. I know that you are someone that I would be honored, to fall asleep next to you at night. If you'd just give me a chance Demi. I promise I won't hurt you."

I shook my head, "I can't just let my walls fall down like that Nick!"

He looked deep into my eyes, "Then I'll tear them down, one at a time, brick by brick until you're ready to stop building them. I don't care how long it takes."

I bit my lip and closed my eyes as I leaned my head back against the wall, "I'm scared."

"I know you are Demi." Nick laced his fingers through mine and kissed my knuckles, "I'm scared too. I'm putting my heart on the line here."

I opened my eyes, "I don't want to hurt you either."

He smiled softly, "Don't worry about me. I'll be okay. I've got some tough skin. Whatever happens, you won't lose my friendship. I promise."

I took a deep breath, "Fine. But we're not gonna go have sex right after this. We're going to act like we're just starting to date."

Nick's face broke out into a huge grin, "Don't worry, I have plans to 'woo' you."

I let myself smile a bit, "Okay... so what now?"

Nick slid his hand up to the base of my neck as the other went to my waist, "Now? I kiss you."

He crashed his lips onto mine with such an intensity that my breath was knocked from my lungs and I threw my arms around his neck, kissing him back passionately. His mouth moved with mine in sync and we gripped each other tightly. We'd both been holding back for so long, with so many feelings building up, that to let it all out felt like huge weights had been lifted off of my shoulders. I wasn't sure if I ever wanted to pull away. I'd kissed him before, hundreds of times, but this felt entirely different. It wasn't driven by a manic lust, or raging hormones, but by a steady, passionate, intense, feeling of love, and safety, and security. I clutched at him after we broke the kiss, breathing hard as he didn't let go of my waist, but just stared deeply into my eyes.

"I know you said you wanted to go slow but I really don't think I can stop myself from telling you that I love you right now... Hopelessly and completely in love with you."

I smiled and kissed him again, "Thank you... Just promise me one thing."

Nick's hand cupped my cheek, "Anything."

I bit my lip, "Don't break me."

Nick frowned and kissed my forehead, "I would never, but I want you to promise me something too."

I looked up at him, "And what's that?"

Nick smiled at me, "Don't run. If you're scared, I understand. But whatever you do, don't run away from me. I don't want to wake up to an empty bed anymore if I fell asleep with you in it."

I quickly kissed him, "I promise."

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-Rachel