The Lifeguard Hates You (Completed)

August Chapter 21

I'm livid.

Literally fucking livid.

The second I see Bryce smiling at Rory that way, the second I see her returning that smile that's it. I've lost it.

Because I've seen that smile before. It was the same smile he used to steal her from me the first time. And I can tell that something's going on with him and Marnie, as it they're probably not together, which means he can chase after Rory again.

And I mean... why would she entertain that again? After what happened, after what he did. How could she fucking forgive him? How could she go back to him?

Was this to get back at me again? Cause if so... well fucking played.

I waited for Bryce to move away from her to approach her again, grabbing her by the arm and dragging her out of the bar.

"What's the matter Jay?" she asked when we got outside. She literally came to a stand still the second daylight hit her, ripping her arm out of my grasp to glare up at me.

Like she had anything to be mad at me about.

It's the first time we've been alone in a week. She's been punishing me with her distance because I've been purposely walking around shirtless... or damp... or just... you know in clothes I know get her excited.

I was hoping if I kept quiet but kept doing things that turned her on, she'd go back to jumping me. That way I could pretend that she was the problem and not me. That we could go back to having sex and I wouldn't have to compromise my morals.

Well it backfired cause she went to sleep over at Candy's house earlier this week and just didn't come back. And that was worse. So much more worse cause now the cabin was empty and I already knew I hated the cabin when it wasn't being filled with her just happy light and presence and non stop chatter.

I could tell her my problem is that I miss her. I could tell her that my problem is that I like her, and I don't want Bryce to take her from me because I'm being stupid again.

But I'm angry and afraid and I'm running with that instead.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I hiss. "Were you at Polished Elite all day?"

Rory's eyes narrow at me. "Why does that matter?"

"Were you with him?"

"Well we've been planning this out... sooo..."

"Wow, you're so... so stupid! You're going to trust him again after what he did?"

Rory blinks her eyes at me, they dance towards the door to Coog's and then back to me. "Jay... I don't know what you think is going on with me and Bryce but I went to get us the camp site... unless you'd like to miss out on the camping trip this year?"

"Really? So what's going on with Bryce and Marnie then?" I ask her, my hands on my hips.

"What do you mean?"

"Well they definitely don't look like they're in a good place."

"Uh... well... I guess... I mean, he might have mentioned that they're not together right now..."

"Wow, and uh... how quickly did that come up?"

"Jay, so we exchanged some small talk? What does that matter?"

"Cause he's doing it again, Rory!" he cried. "He is clearly playing nice because he's trying to trick you into joining PE again!"

"No, he's being nice cause he owes me. That's it," she says but I don't believe it.

Because now that I've fully come to accept what I had been missing it stands to reason that Bryce would realize it too.

"Look," she says, putting a hand to my chest and my traitorous heart skips a beat. "I don't know what's going on with you, or why this matters, but uh... I did all of this so we can go camping this year. That's it. No other reason. But even if there was an ulterior motive, it would not be any of your business. Okay? Does that make you feel better?"

No. No it did not make me feel better but I was going to have to lie.

"Yes," I tell her and she smiled. "But I'm not going."

And just like that Rory's smile fades.

"What?"

"You heard me, I'm not going on that trip if he's going to be there." Rory throws her head back and groans. "I'm serious Rory. It's bad enough you expect me to be around Marnie when we all know how I feel about her, but I'm not spending a weekend with Bryce. I'm just not. And if you were my friend you wouldn't be going either."

At this Rory scoffs. "Okay no. You can't tell me what to do, Jay," she snaps. "I did not spend all of today in a place that makes me uncomfortable with people who I don't trust to not go on this camping trip."

And that is stupid because Rory hates camping. She hates not having plumbing and strong wi-fi and toilets. Every year we'd go she'd complain. It was practically tradition.

"Rory..."

"No. I'm going. If you don't want to come, fine. But I'm not going to let you guilt me into staying because you drew your line in the sand and expect me to stand with you."

Then she just walks away from me. She just leaves, goes back into that bar and leaves me outside.

Hating myself.

Because I should have just fucking told her the truth.