Wildfire

Three

  Favorite sitcoms usually bring joy, but this time, it didn't. A frown rested and became permanent as a twenty-three-year-old lived as if she was a sixty-three-year-old man. Her bottom grew numb in the turquoise reclining chair as she watched an old sitcom that she used to watch with her mother when she was a child. She was so young but acted so old. Her eyes grew tired from staring at the screen for too long. She hoped that her husband would walk through the house door, but she knew that that wasn't possible. That was the life that she agreed to while being married to a forty-five-year-old sheriff of Jamson, South Carolina.
  The show didn't even bring laughter to Renee as it usually did. If she didn't hurry up and get out the house, she would literally have a mental breakdown. Before she could even pull out her hair, someone gently knocked on the door.
  "It's unlocked..." she guessed it was her husband, Samuel.
  The door quickly opens, allowing the outside sound to slowly emerge through Renee's ears. It seemed to be pouring down. The exhaustion under the person's breath seemed feminine. Samuel's voice was too deep...the person entering inside was not Samuel.
  "Sam," Renee got worried, "is that you?"
  Growing worried, Renee leaned to the side of the reclining chair, grabbing a butcher's knife from under it. She gripped on it tightly, hoping that it would frighten away the intruder.
  Renee guessed and guessed all the possibilities of who it could be. She assumed that it was some woman who wanted revenge for whatever unknowable thing that she thought that her husband did.
  The woman's shadow quickly walked closer and closer towards the living room while at the same time Renee gripped onto her weapon tighter and tighter. She raised the knife up for self-defense as the woman family came into the living room...it was...it was just one of her friends. There was nothing to worry about now.
  Causing her to have an irregular heartbeat for almost being killed for no reason, Destinee grabbed her chest quickly as she thought her life was going to be over.
  "Girl, what are you doing? Are you trying to kill me!" Destinee asked her friend out of relief as Renee placed the cutting instrument down on the floor.
  Feeling much better that tue intruder was a friend of hers, Renee resumed sitting normally on the reclining chair. Destinee walked over to Renee, standing beside her as she looked over her worried friend.
  "It's just late-night scares while being alone..." she reassured her friend with an explanation on the mistake she made a few seconds ago.
  "Late night scares...or thinking about the usual...?" Destinee hinted about a possible baby-fever depression.
  Knowing that her friend hit the hammer on the nail, Renee tried her hardest not answer Destinee. She didn't want to feel worse because of her friend knowing what she was so worried about.
  Of course, every woman—or some women wants to carry something of their own for nine months and birth it into the world. Some women want something—or eventually a someone that they could call theirs...their own flesh and blood. Renee had a terrible time with thinking about that, because she didn't have that opportunity.
  It broke her heart every day; and especially every lonely night that she couldn't even create a human that she could love for years to come. She didn't have the chance, but she desperately wanted it. She wanted the love that she gave to others to be reciprocated back to her.
  "I know that you don't want me all up in your business and everything, "Destinee getting Renee's business, "but are you sure it's you...? Could it be Sam? You know he's older and everything, right? You're still young! It's probably not your fault, Renee."
  Although that could be the possibility, Renee chose not to believe it. She continued to blame herself for the reason of not having children after multiple times...not even becoming pregnant. Causing her to feel even more emotional than before, Renee began rubbing her stomach gently, imagining that she was pregnant and happy.
  Destinee discontinued from standing, sitting in the arm of the chair, grabbing onto her friend tightly as she knew that she was going through it...especially since Samuel wasn't home to comfort her.
  Renee stopped rubbing her belly, allowing her friend to grab her and hug her. Tears slowly ran from her face as she accepted the hard truth that she couldn't have any children, or even try to have them.
  As the friend that Destinee was, she looked off at the ceiling as she knew deep down inside that her friend wasn't the issue on why she wasn't able to get pregnant. Deep down, Destinee knew that there probably was something that Samuel wasn't telling Renee. She knew that he was the true reason why Renee couldn't get pregnant. In denial, Renee wouldn't listen to anyone. She could only accept the truth that she was the reason for all her depression. She would be literally broken if she found out that she wasn't the cause to any of it. It's not the fact that she doesn't believe that she's the cause, it's the fact that she doesn't want to face the truth that's been in her face all the time.