Ya'aburnee

You Could Have My Heart

"Liv," the human woman turned at the call of her name. "I was supposed to give you this." Kili held out her sword to her, in its sheath, and she took it with mild confusion. It had been taken from her back in Mirkwood, and not returned. "Tauriel sent us with it," He explained.

"Tauriel... the red-haired elf?" She asked, looking over the blade. She had honestly thought she would never see it again.

"Yes." If her eyes were not deceiving her, Kili was blushing, and she smiled knowingly. "She uh... She also wanted me to tell you that she 'understands your mission, and has hope that you will survive it.'"

Olivia couldn't hold back the startled huff of laughter. "That's a first."

"What?" Kili's eyebrows furrowed.

"The elves all keep telling me they think I'm going to die..." She positioned the harness and sheath back in its place on her shoulders. "It's been a little frightening, really."

"Why do they think you're going to die?" Balin asked worriedly from the side. The conversation had drawn the attention of a few members of the company.

"They're usually very vague," She explained. "Something about the legacy of the sword, perhaps?"

Fili spoke up now. "The other elf, tried to stop her from giving it to Kili to bring to you. She said something about it 'not being their place to contend with the will of the Valar.' What did she mean?"

Olivia sighed nervously. "In truth I know very little myself. I was given the sword and a very simple instruction..."

Dwalin cut her off. "Who was it?"

"What?"

"Who gave you the sword." When she was silent, he continued. "Come now, lass. We've all been wondering it for months now. No one just gives a sword like that away rashly."

"Was it given to you by one of the Valar?" Ori asked, even Bilbo waiting for her answer curiously.

She swore under her breath. "Yes. I was sent to help you reclaim the mountain."

There was murmuring and hundreds of questions all at once. Which Valar? What exactly was the mission? How did the sword come in? And why did all the elves seem to know it's significance?

"Stop!" She finally yelled, all the voices falling silent. "I don't know the answers to most of your questions. I thought the sword was just a sword until I first showed it to Lord Elrond, and he wouldn't tell me its significance. My mission was given to me in no more than ten words, and since I have been here I am certain there is a large piece of the puzzle that was not given to me."

"You're not from Middle Earth, are you?" Bilbo asked. He had been silent until now, all the dwarves turning to him, and then to Olivia.

She sighed, bowing her head. "No. Nor am I from the lands to the West." There was murmuring amongst the group. "My reality runs parallel to this one. I was pulled through a void to get here. It was... the only way the Valar were allowed to interfere."

"Interfere? With what?" Gloin asked.

"I can say no more." She turned to walk out of the room, but Balin's voice stopped her.

"What was the mission, lass?" 

She sighed, turning her head to speak over her shoulder. "I must protect the line of Durin." She slipped from the hall, continuing on to walk towards the surface for a few minutes of peace before Thorin came looking for her, blaming the others for her absence.

"Olivia." Balin had followed her out of the hall, rushing to catch up to her, the human woman stopping. "You do not have to stay here," He offered as comfort. "In the past days..."

She cut him off. "Do you not think that Thorin needs my help? He needs it more than ever, now. And do you really think that Azog is done hunting Thorin, now that the mountain has been reclaimed? No, my 'mission' has barely begun. I can't leave now." She kept walking

Balin sighed. "It is eating away at you. Seeing him like this." She halted in her tracks, swallowing harshly. He sighed again, quieter, slowly walking up to the woman. "And I am a little afraid for your safety."

"He wouldn't hurt me." She insisted, willing herself to believe it.

"No," Balin agreed. "Thorin would never dream of it. But that person down in the hoard is not Thorin anymore, and you know it."

"I cannot leave him." Her voice broke. "It hurts, so badly..." Tears began to fall, and she clutched her chest, clawing at her heart. "I never meant... I hadn't planned..." She choked. "I was only meant to keep him alive, not fall in love with him."

Balin gave her a sad, sympathetic smile. "That is something that cannot be planned for, lass. You never mean for it to happen. It just does."

"That doesn't make it any easier..." 

***

The outside air did little to soothe her. The chill of it began to burn her throat and her nose. Tears dripped down her face, leaving icy streaks in their wake, her eyes puffy and red. She drew her arms around herself after wiping her face, sniffling. If she did not return soon, Thorin would take his wrath out on the company. "I won't die for love," The mutter left her lips softly as she picked up a small stone, smoothing it over in her hands.

Her composure rapidly faded, and she let out an angry scream, throwing the rock as far as she could, kicking more stones to tumble after it down the slopes of the mountain. She tripped and fell on her hands and knees, starting to cry again. 

She let out a shuddering breath. She really needed to get back. She stood, not even bothering to hide her tears, slowly returning down the winding stairways and paths back to the hoard. She didn't acknowledge Thorin as she returned, nor the company, who were now spread out, looking again for the Arkenstone. She just sat the stone steps near Bilbo, arms coiled protectively around her midsection. 

"Any sign of it?" Thorin called out to the group.

"Nothing yet," Dwalin replied.

"Nothing here!" Ori informed him.

"Keep searching!" Thorin shouted back.

"That jewel could be anywhere!" Oin argued.

"The Arkenstone is in these halls!" Thorin insisted. "Find it!"

"You heard him!" Dwalin relayed to the group, "Keep looking."

"All of you!" Thorin added. "No one rests until it is found."

Bilbo, who was up with her and Thorin, shared a look. "I'm going to get some air," The hobbit told her, "Will you be alright?" She nodded, Bilbo patting her shoulder as he walked up the stairs past her.

She watched for a short while as Thorin paced, suspiciously keeping an eye on all who were digging through the pile, eyes laser-focused, searching for any sign of theft. Eventually, she picked up a broken piece of stone, turning it over in her hands to occupy herself. "Olivia." She jumped at Thorins voice. Although it was quiet and low as it always had been, there was now an edge to it. It used to be softer, gentler. Now it was if he was always using his battle voice. When she looked up at him, he continued. "Where is Bilbo?"

"Uh, he said he was going to get some air," Olivia replied.

Thorin nodded, returning to pacing. She knew this wasn't him, and knew he'd feel so guilty when he broke out of it. Her patience was running thin, however, and it was only a matter of time before she snapped. 

He had thought of her as naïve even before the dragon sickness. He did not know the biggest secret of her past. She hadn't wanted to lay her burdens on him. But now, his home reclaimed, his family safe, and the dragon dead? Despite the sickness not being entirely his fault, part of her was angry at him, for having all she had wanted since the day her life was turned upside-down, yet still wanting more. 

She knew herself quite well, and she knew exactly when she would snap. The moment he turned away those who had faced the same dragon fire that had taken his home from him would be the moment she could no longer bear to follow him. Whether she'd still love him then? Only time could tell.