Further Apart...

Heartbreaking goodbyes

It's been three days since I lost my strength to live and soul, I feel nothing but numbness,
it's been three days where I'm still cannot digest the reality that I have no one to call a family of my own.

I assume  Richard  and Vincent's  dad took care of the hospital  formalities,
today is  the funeral day where I have to bid farewell to the two beautiful souls of my life.

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most of the people around visited the funeral  both there was no sign of dad's  or mom's  family,  except near and dear ones , the customers who would come regularly visit our Cafe  my parent were very lovely and so kind to people  their kindness made people here to attend  the funeral.

people spoke about my parents how they lived and how good they are,  my in-laws also said some few words  Emily gave her speech controlling her tears.
then I heard his voice  talking about my dad and how hardworking he was and how lovely my mother was,
I did not even  look up at him and see his face.
once he was done  I took a long deep breath
and started to talk

"I appreciate  each and every one who  made their  time and attended the funeral  that show how kind my parents were..

When I was a kid  I never knew what love was  as I started growing up  I've seen my dad  and mom and then came to know what love is,  at times when mom was angry dad used to try his best to make pancakes to bribe mom with his childish behaviors some      and jokes where mom used to never laugh at if she was in a normal state,  but she tries to hide that smile  when dad  tries his best  to make her smile, by evening when I come back from school they   look all okay and laugh at each other joke like they never had any fight..
that shows how  a great husband he was
and and a great father too.

Mamma would never leave his side no matter what they face in life, she is such an amazing  soul filled with nothing but patience, forgiveness and love.
she was my Idol she always used to tell me no matter what u go through   go to mirror look at your reflecting smile and say you're strong  u've faced many and you can survive  this too stay string and I love you,
this was her habbit she always used to tell me to..."

Tears started rolling down my eyes I was feeling heavy in my heart I'm not able to utter the next words.

Where ever they are  I'm sure that they both are holding hands  smiling  at each other peacefully...
I love you mom and dad...

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after my speech people came to me one by one  giving their condonlences..
I felt someone's presence  right next to me,
Vincent  put his hand over my shoulder and slightly  pressed  it..

I wanted this,  I wanted someone to be next to me whom I call mine I know Vincent is not mine but at this moment I wanted to hug him and cry so loud and grieve.
I wanted to complain him about how God  was unfair with me and taking my parents..

When he heard me sobbing  he turned to face  him wiped my tears and hugged me tightly  I did not hug him back but I melted and cried so loud that some people started looking at me very sadly and pity filled in their eyes.
I don't care how vulnerable  I look I lost  the most precious gems  I have no one now  he  started kissing me in my forehead and after so many days I've seen his eyes and they were glistened  with tears.
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we both sat down for God know how long  I still  was  sobbing and he was rubbing my back.
He suddenly picked me up bridal style  I was so tired to tell him to put me down I let him carry me  where I was holding his shirt and covered my face turning to his and still sobbing someone opened the car door and  he did not even put me down on the seat we entered the car holding  me bridal style and sat in the car and me on his lap still sobbing  the whole car ride we never spoke but he was kissing my forehead every now and then and massaging my hair,
I was longing for this affection from the people I loved.
even though Richard and Emily were there  with me I was still feeling empty and I wanted something  I cannot put a finger in what it was....
he might have broken me  and at times  he was a monster in my eyes  but somewhere in the corner  he was not so cruel he too has a heart he to can feel emotions....

We reached home which was in our.hone town itself he carried  me to a room  made me sit on the bed.

"5mins I'll be back".

he whispered and kissed me on the forehead again  I did not respond to it but sat quietly  on the bed  I stopped sobbing but the tears never failed to roll down my eyes.
he went to the bathroom  came back after sometime.

"I've made the bath tub ready  go and have a bath it will ease you up"

I weekly got up from the bed and walked towards   the bathroom  locked the bathroom door slipped my dress and  slowly   entered the tub..
he was right it was helping me, but remembering the last few weeks and my parents death news and now present  and future without them  made me cry again..

Was I that bad that God took everything from me my dad doesn't wanted me  he took  everyone who were dear to my heart.

Why doesn't he take me also..
I closed my eyes accepting the reality and everything around me was becoming blur as my  teary eyes started to close tiredly.....
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I was suddenly feeling cold and I opened my eyes rubbing them i was sleeping the bed with Vincent blace t shirt

Wait I was in the bath room  before.
Did I sleep in the bath tub? God  what's wrong with me, hope it's not Vincent who dried my body  and  dressed me up..
By the way where is he?
  He was not the room..
And whose home is this? did he buy it?
I was too tired  to think and  check on where he was so  I again closed my eyes  pulling the bedsheets  closely again and drifted back again  thinking of him and how he acted towards me today and thought of giving him another chance because everyone deserves a second chance and pure love.........