Alina Kanaan

Chapter 17

"He Who created Death and Life, that He may try which of you is best in deed: and He is the Exalted in Might, Oft-Forgiving." (Quran 67:2)

"What is it?" I ask Mason. He takes a deep breath. I can tell that it's something majorly serious.

"I know that it's seriously the wrong time to tell you this and maybe I shouldn't at all, but I feel like I have to. I have feelings for you, Alina. Ever since our first huge conversation where we talked about how you felt coming to America and what not, I started to feel something towards you. You're so intelligent and beautiful. I can't get out you out of my head. 

"I also realize that you just got engaged and are happy with Aman, but I felt like I needed to tell you this because it's been all I think about. Besides, I'm not even Muslim anyway, but I've been looking into it."

I stare at him for a few seconds and look down at the table. This is not what I expected. I feel angry that he has feelings for me even though I'm engaged to Aman, but I decide to be nice to him since it isn't his fault. Sometimes we can't control who we fall for.

"I'm so sorry, Mason. You've had to see me with Aman especially at the engagement party. I wouldn't have invited you if I knew-"

"No, don't apologize. You didn't know. Besides, I wanted to come to the party. I had an unforgettable experience. I saw two major cultures come together in a special way. I've never experienced that before. Plus, it made me feel good because you were happy. So, don't worry."

"I'm glad you had a good time! But I feel bad that you've had to see me with Aman. I'm just so sorry and I'm sorry that I can't be with you. I consider you one of my best friends, Mason. I don't want to lose that over this."

"Don't worry, we'll still be best friends."

"I'm curious, why did you start developing feelings for me? What about me is so intriguing? I'm just another person." I'm still shocked that two men like me at the same time: Aman and Mason. This has never happened to me before. I secretly like it, but at the same time I feel so bad for Mason. He wants me, but he can't have me, and that's how it'll always be.

"Ever since I met you after audition week aired, I found you beautiful. I didn't think anything of it at the time. But then when we started talking, I realized how intelligent and bright you are. You're unlike any girl I've ever met. I'm so used to meeting snobby girls who couldn't care less about what the world is really about, but you care. You're so humble when it comes to receiving praise. You're just so down to earth. And no, you're not just another person. You're special. Don't be so hard on yourself and don't think lowly of yourself. You're one of a kind."

"Thanks so much," I smile and say, but look down at the table. I can't look at him right now, but I know I'll get over this feeling soon. 

We awkwardly eat dinner and then go back to the mansion.

"Thanks for dinner," I tell him.

"You're welcome," he says. I go upstairs to my room and see Audrey and Salma on their beds. They look like they're having a good time.

"You guys, you'll never guessed what happened!" I tell them in English and Arabic so they'll both understand me.

"What is it?" They ask.

"Promise not to tell?" 

"We promise," I tell them Mason's confession and what he said about it. They're just as shocked as I am if not more.

"What?!" They both say.

"I know! I'm shocked too! I don't think I can talk with him for a while. It feels too awkward. I could barely look at him after he told me. I'll get over it eventually, but right now I'm still too shocked," I explain.