Young Love

Decision

Wilhelm: (right after he left)

I was just sitting in the car when I realized that there was no turning back. I made a fucking decision. Even if it was the worst one in my entire life. I couldn't think straight at that moment. I was trying not to feel too much, but unfortunately, anxiety had a slightly different plan. It felt like all of my emotions and thoughts were literally running through my veins. My ability to breathe at that second was purely horrible. The seatbelt was pressing on me, creating and putting pressure on every inch of my skin with which it made contact. Many pictures started to appear right in front of my eyes, and they were so freaking realistic. It was almost like I could touch them If only I had stretched my finger.

We haven't done anything wrong.

Simon is kissing me...

You are no longer part of my family!

I didn't mean it like that.

I'm not...

Being a prince is not a punishment. It's a privilege.

Smile, Wille!

Run! 1, 2, 3

Erick is dead...

You are allowed to have your own opinions.

My head was on fire. My lungs weren't working properly, and my heartbeat was racing like a horse. I completely lost track of time. Then I remembered my own words: I love you!
My whole body was burning from the insides. I was expecting that I'll be dead in a few minutes. So I decided to take deep, calm exhales, but nothing happened. Sweat was dripping on my shirt. The whole world was spinning...
Then I heard my own voice, what an odd feeling.

-Stop the car! I said.

Silence.

-I said, "Stop the car!"

Suddenly, we pulled off. I got out of the car, barely standing on my feet, and then I fell to the ground. Malin ran and helped me to rise up. At first, I wasn't able to see her clearly, but after a few seconds, it was kinda alright.

-Your majesty! We need to go further. Are you feeling a little bit better? She asked with concern.

-Yeah... Yes. Thanks, Malin. My voice was hoarse. I didn't want to say anything else at that point.

-Come on! She said lightly, opening her hands as if it was a polite invitation.

I took a deep breath and took a quick look around me. I saw trees and fog surrounding them, which looked as if it could swallow reality. The air was heavy. These were signs of being back home or a place that is hidden under this title. I don't know where my real home was, but at the same time, I was sure that it wasn't a palace.

I got in. I decided to take a nap. It wasn't too long, though. Maybe five minutes. In fact, I don't know how I had this strange ability to sleep at this vulnerable time. I rubbed my eyes, and it turned out that we were finally at the right place. I was walking and trying not to think about my brother. Coz maybe it would've been easier with him by my side, or maybe this whole shit wouldn't have happened in the first place. I know he would approve of my relationship with Simon, and he would be a King, instead of me. He deserved it so badly. Erik always wanted to be a role model. Our parents loved him. The rules were no concern of his. He was a King. I kept walking, and then I fell limp onto the steps in front of the palace. In my mind, I was already crying, but not a single tear was released. I don't think I am allowed to cry anymore. I thought. Erik was dead, and there was nothing we could do about it. He probably wouldn't have liked this idea of me. Being so sensitive and anxious. I hurt so many people, especially Simon. The only person outside part of my family that I truly love, or at least I have been thinking that way. I can't let my guard down. Damn, it was so hard...

-Prince Wilhelm! I heard from the distance.

 I raised my head up and straightened my hair a little bit.

-Why are you not going inside? Dinner is almost ready, which means you should prepare. Said Malin, who, of course, caught me there.

I didn't bother to say anything. I simply stood up and went with her to the castle.

Emptiness, sadness, all of these memories...

-Wilhelm! I was hugged by someone. It turned out to be my mother, but it was too fast, so I didn't reciprocate a gesture.

-Sweetheart, go wash your hands. She said velvety.

I nodded automatically, not even looking at the woman who was standing in front of me.

-Oh, and do something with your hair, please. She added in this sweet tone of hers.

I sighed and then went straight to the bathroom.

The dinner was ready. I greeted my father, too. We were eating with pure silence for a while, which was suddenly broken by my dad.

-Wille, we know that it's probably...well, challenging to you. Try to understand that we only want you to be happy and make sure that our family and... Our country is safe. So don't be too hard on us, okay? He said in an uncertain, shaking voice. He was clearly scared of my reaction.

His words were cutting my skin, piece by piece.

I swallowed the last piece of food, wiped my hands, and gathered myself to say something.

-Okay... I don't agree with you, though, and to be clear, I do not seem to be the happiest kid in the universe, but I will be better, right? I said in a little sarcastic manner.

-Wilhelm! My mum raised her voice, hitting the wooden table with both of her fists.

She lost control.

I took my last bite and simply headed to my room. I opened the door and slowly entered the place. It was so strange. Everything seemed to be perfectly fine. Too fine. My bed was made, the space was clean, and there wasn't a single piece that wouldn't match the interior design.
I gently run my hand over the sheets. Loneliness came rushing to me with the speed of a waterfall. I didn't know what to do. My parents were ridiculous as if they really thought that they cared about my happiness. The truth is, I'm not happy, mostly because of them. I don't have my love, my beautiful sunlight, my Simme. I got up and picked up some books to read in order to just do something at all. Maybe this will make me feel better, I assumed. I read three books, and after that, I realized that it was nearly morning. I wasn't that sleepy but also felt not in the mood to try anything except sleep, so I closed my eyes, tears rolling down. I fell asleep maybe an hour later. 

-Your majesty! Breakfast will be served at five minutes! The voice rang in my ears, bringing me back to my depressing reality.

 Yeah, this is gonna be an interesting time for sure...