Young Love

Breath of death

TRIGGER WARNING! Mention of drug abuse and accidents.

Simon:

I literally froze. It's like suddenly I had no power to move my body or think about anything. I was psychically in the present, but not mentally. After a while, I could hear some voices that were running through my head. Finally, I was able to process them.

-SIMON! The scream came out.

I gasped. 

-Simon, come here, please! Can I hug you? Sara asked, visibly scared to death.

I blinked and nodded and in the next second, I felt her touch. Soft, little cold hands were stroking my back. It was calming, in some ways at least. I knew that she was in a hard position too. We needed each other, now more than ever. No matter what, I still have my sister. I don't know for how long we were hugging, but time wasn't valid at all. 

-Are you gonna be okay? I questioned her.

-I don't know, you? She looked at me with pure sadness in her eyes.

-No sé. (I don't know).

We sat on the bed, without talking. The silence was comforting at first because honestly, we didn't know what to say, but then it became strange and the quietness was slowly killing me. I wanted to put in order my thoughts and feelings, but it was impossible. I didn't understand how it had happened and why. At some points, lack of that knowledge maybe could've been good. I didn't want to feel guilty about the whole thing, and I knew that I probably would feel this way. I had to stop this horrible silence.

-Em... Do you know anything more? I began.

-Not yet. Lo siento. (I'm sorry).

-Okay. Can you call Felice? I suggested.

-I don't think it's a good idea. She must be pretty overwhelmed too. Maybe even more than us. He's her best friend. I don't wanna stress her too much now. Okay?

-Yeah, sure, you're... right. I agreed, not hiding a bit reluctantly

Fuck, the guilt! I knew that it finally come.

I started trembling and crying as I'd never done in my life. I was so hopeless. 

-Hey, it's gonna be better. I promise! We will work it out, please don't feel like that is your fault. Simon, please! My little sister begged me.

- But it is my fucking blame, Sara! What if I love him? What then, huh? What if I do, and I won't be able to experience that with him?! That's all because of me! I shouldn't have left him! He did not deserve that. I promise that I will die if he...

I couldn't say more. I cried louder. Our mum came to the room without knowing exactly what was going on. She only wanted to make us feel safe. We were in a tight hug. I started to get pissed more and more.

-You need to calm down, it will be okay. Mamá said.

-Don't tell me to calm down! I yelled.

She stepped back, looking surprised.

-Okay, I won't. She promised.

I stared at her and then from excess emotions I curled up, and I was laying on her knees. Mum decided to give us lemon balm to drink. It should help with stress. I stayed in Sara's room. We were ''sleeping'' together, but to be honest I couldn't sleep properly. I relaxed myself a bit if I could say it like that. We were waiting for what the next day would bring. My family promised to check everything first thing in the morning.