Every Thing You Never Had

1: I Wish Some Nights Lasted Forever

you can't go back and change the beginning, But you can start where you are and change the ending.

~Anonymous
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♡︎♡︎♡︎

Sometimes people come into your life to teach you a lesson. Not to be permanent. Everyone comes and goes into your life for a purpose. You just have to find out what that purpose is. Some people come into your life to break you, then someone else will come into your life just to fix you and break you down again. It's up to you how long you choose to stay broken. It's okay to be sad and in a dark place. As long as you don't stay there too long. Life is too short to be dreary for long periods of time. Life is about exploring and finding yourself. There is always that one person who will come to your life and ruin you. There's also that one person who will enter your life and save you.

You just have to wait for your time.

Some people are born into a happy loving household. Others aren't so lucky. In this world you have to learn how to survive the unsurvivable. In my life I've been abused mentally, physically, emotionally and still try to see the light in the darkness. I put others above myself, hoping that one day someone will notice me, love me. Deep down I know that no matter what happens, I will never truly be loved. This world is full of assholes. Don't be one of those assholes.

There are so many people in this world who want nothing more but to hurt you, to reel you in and destroy you.

My life has always been me wanting to please others. Wanting to be loved. Wanting to be beautiful, wanting someone to see me as someone worthy of love. Someone worth caring about. All I've ever wanted was for someone to love me for me. Someone who I don't have to be afraid of. I don't want to walk around the way I am, constantly putting on makeup so that no one could see the real me. I don't want anyone to see me how I see myself. Makeup is like art, you can do many different things with it. You can change yourself into another person that you love. But once it comes off, you're back to where it all began. You can change your style, cut your hair, dye your hair, wear make up, get tattoos, or get piercings. But at the end of the day none of that will change who you really are. Once the clothes and the makeup comes off, you're back to the same person you once dreaded. No matter what you do you will always be you.

No matter what.

No matter what I wear, what I do. People will always have an opinion about me. It doesn't matter if I wear saggy jeans, an oversized hoodie, and throw my hair into a messy bun. Guys will always look at me as an object. Something to use whenever they want it.

"I've already told you Elora, I have to go.", Chris snapped, before walking away slamming the door behind him.

I rolled my eyes. Chris had to go to work as always. He and I have been together since my sophomore year of high school. He's two years older than me. I'm in my second year of college while he is in his last.

I was hoping he'd stay home and we could do something together, but as always he was busy. I can't tell if he honestly had to go to work or if he just didn't want to be home with me.

I decided that I would get ready for the day and go meet some friends,  there wasn't any point in me staying home. 

I left home and drove to my best friend's apartment. I saw that Raymon and Ari are already here.

"Hey girl!" Brae said while hugging me.

We all decided on pizza and called in the order. As we ate, Brae told us about a party one of Jackson's friends was having tonight. She suggested that we all go.