Falling for Death

Drained to nothing

TW; mention of drugs (Fentanyl) and Suic*de.

Harper

I was laying on Ace's bed, alone. Just me and my miserable self.

Well I have been for the past three days. I skipped school and cancelled my shifts at the bakery.

I had no motivation whatsoever to do anything. Even something as simple as eating or taking shower.

I couldn't bring myself to get out of bed.

After everything that happened, he took me to his house. I asked for space, so he gave me that but now I'm regretting it because I'm all alone with only my thoughts to keep me company.

That day had to be the worst day of my entire life.

My mom was found unconscious in my house, my brother at school. And I was okay. Only me.

Why couldn't it be me in their place?

While they're fighting for their lives, here I am, laying on a comfortable bed in tears. I've been sobbing for the past three days on and off. My mind couldn't wrap around the fact that the two people I care about most could be dead.

I couldn't shake away the things I saw. My mother laying on the ground, blood everywhere, my home completely trashed.

We called the police and they arrived immediately, they told me my mom had been drunk and lashed out. Hence why our house was messed up. They used my brother being in the hospital as a reason for my mothers behaviour.

Pathetic.

But I knew better.

She would never go back to drinking, not even after what happened to Elliot. She worked so hard to get to where she is, she'd never willingly spiral back down to that dark place.

They lied.

They were trying to cover something up.

Though on a good note, they rushed my mother to the hospital but I wasn't allowed to go with them nor could I visit her, safety reasons they told me.

I went back to the hospital the next morning with Ace and found out my brother didn't wake up and he still hasn't.

But luckily my mother is fine. But they said she had to stay at the hospital to be monitored, they think she's unstable and needs to be kept there.

Ace told me he'd get good people who'd help me figure this out and everything. He even had some people clean up the mess in my house and told me that he already took care of whoever did that and I was so grateful for him.

I don't know how I would cope if he wasn't here with me.

Well he wasn't at the moment but that's on me.

I cried harder as flash backs of my brother on that hospital bed flooded my mind again. I buried my face into the blankets.

Why did this have to happen? Why to them? And worst of all, there's nothing I could do about it.

I am aware that other people have it way worse and I feel like I shouldn't be complaining but everything just hurt.

My heart, my head, my body.

I was so fucking tired. Of everything. I just wanted to give up. I felt so...numb. Empty even.

I felt nothing.

Nothing could fix the shattered pieces of my heart.

Nothing.

A knock on the door broke me out of my morbid thoughts, I too tired to say anything.