just something

runaway with me (and anchor each other)

NOTES: 

STEREK Fanfic. DNI if you don't like it, it's that easy. 

This is my way of letting out my frustration. I've always thought before that running away is just an act of cowardice. But sometimes it gives you something that will make you feel alive. Not all things are worth fighting for and some things are better to be left there - tackling it when you feel like you can handle the emotions and everything that comes with it. 

Healing is something that we need. And it is different for everyone. But for me, it's okay. It's okay that it's different. Because nothing is the same as the other. Even in that way, we can feel like we're special - in a way, i don't know. 

Anyways, here it is. 

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It was never easy, trying to build everything back from the ground. Picking up pieces of yourself, sometimes finding things about you that you never knew existed. It was exhausting, pretending to be okay and making yourself believe that you have a chance at being okay. It's just a dream, going back to normal, hell he doesn't even know what normal is any more.

Allison's death anniversary is fast approaching and regardless of the times that passed, nothing changed much for Stiles. The nightmares are still there, haunting him in his sleep and sometimes making him believe that it isn't just a dream. It wasn't always a dream, Stiles thought to himself.

His friends are trying, always making plans with him, being the noisy ones instead of him. He entertained them, trying so hard to be okay. To exist in the same timeline as them. But he just can't. He keeps going back to when Allison died, how Scott cried, how everyone mourned for her. And Stiles is just there, not knowing if he's rightful to mourn for his friend.

A lot has changed. Derek left with Cora, finally giving himself the space that he needs to heal. Derek Hale has always been a mystery for Stiles, but as he remembers the man's past, he started to understand him bit by bit. That man went through hell and Stiles isn't even sure if he can get past that because that's just Derek Hale. A self-sacrificing idiot who thinks he is the one to blame for everything that goes wrong. Stiles just wanted to talk to the man, make him understand that the fire, Laura, Erica, and Boyd, and all this lycanthropy shit that was thrown at them isn't his fault. Stiles is just furious at the man, although aware that it is a bit hypocritical to be saying that while trying to kill himself because of how guilty he felt.

Isaac was finally getting back on track, still having a slight regret at how he parted with Derek, but Stiles assured him that Derek understood. He always does but he doesn't expect everyone to understand him. It seems like Derek expects and knows that no one understands him enough to know his reasoning. Of course, Scott didn't care. He never cared for what Derek felt, him saying that it was maybe righteous that Derek's family was burned was proof of that.