Bleeding isn't Broken

Happiness

What is happiness?

In all honesty, at this point in my life. I'm not sure. I know that small things give me joy. Things like romantic couples coming together in a show, winning card games, getting a tip from a customer. But that's all temporary. I don't think I've felt true happiness in a while.

There was this boy, calm, smart, funny, caring boy. At first he was a temporary happiness, one where a friendship was formed and we'd do stupid things like a nerf war or piss about on the beach.

But he became true happiness in the end, or what I believe to be true happiness. And I'd like to believe he felt that too. But as it goes. In one moment of us he was happy. Happiest I'd ever seen him.

Now that I think about it. I watched his happiness fade, the love for me with it. Clinging to the one thing that made me feel again, I tried to hold on. To stay in that state. But I was just living off memory.

I don't know what true happiness feels like but what I do know is that, that boy, made me the happiest person, even if that was just for a moment.