𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙞𝙖 , 𝘮𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩 𝘳𝘢𝘱𝘱

12; coldness

Mitch didn't sleep that night. His mind was far too crowded with thoughts and worries and he just kept moving around in bed, too afraid to even look at Janina, who was next to him with her back towards him. He couldn't believe he had let things escalate like that. He couldn't believe he had slept with the one person he shouldn't have slept with. The craziest thing was, he felt no guilt towards Katrina. He felt no guilt at all, but still, he knew he shouldn't have done it.

Finally, he found the guts to look at Janina again, feeling a small yet sad smile spread across his face at the sight of her sleeping. "I'm sorry," he whispered softly as he began tracing patterns onto her bare back, feeling his bottom lip tremble and his eyes well up in tears. "I'm sorry for what I'm about to do, Nina. I'm sorry that I can't give you what you deserve," he murmured, feeling his heart skip a beat out of fear when he saw her move slightly but was relieved when it was just her moving around in her sleep.

Slowly he climbed out of the bed and collected his clothes, making sure that he wasn't making too much noise so Janina wouldn't wake up from her sleep, he just wanted her to rest. Once he was fully dressed again he grabbed his phone to send a text to Hurley to tell him where they were and that he should come there as soon as possible, because he only then had realized that Hurley had no idea where he and Janina had been. The response he got from Hurley was expected, just a simple 'OK'. 

It didn't take long for the sun to rise again, lighting the hospital room yellow which seemed a lot better than the fluorescent light that always made hospitals feel cold. Mitch hated hospitals. Once Janina had woken up, Hurley was already in the room and watching the girl with stern eyes. "You could have gotten killed," Hurley said simply, making Janina give him an annoyed glare. 

"But I didn't, so don't give me shit for leaving," Janina murmured and sat up, clenching her jaw in pain. Her abdominal wound was aching but she didn't want to ask for more painkillers so she just endured it. "Can we talk about this whole mission, please? Because I think it's much better if we try to focus on finding my dad so we can protect him. He isn't doing this voluntarily." she mumbled, annoyed when Hurley said he'd first get the both of them breakfast and that they'd talk after. She decided to not protest and watched him walk away before she turned her head to look at Mitch, who was clearly avoiding her look.

"Did you get in touch with my brother?" Janina asked Mitch, nodding when he said he'd made sure John had gotten on a plane to Berlin. His tone of voice had completely changed, it wasn't filled with emotion anymore, it felt like she was talking to a robot. It confused her, made her scared that she had just been dreaming about what she and Mitch had done. That it all was some crazy trip because of the morphine she was given. 

"What's with the coldness, Rapp? Did I do something wrong?" she asked him, her eyes serious. She bit her lip when he didn't reply and still refused to look her in the eye, making her clenched her hand into a fist to hide the fact that she was starting to get upset. "Listen, if this is about last night, then-" "Last night shouldn't have happened, Janina," Mitch cut her off, his eyes focused on his hands which were in his lap. He was picking at the skin between his thumb and index finger, a sign he was nervous.

"We're work partners, we can't let things get personal Janina. I can't let things get personal." he sighed, nervously raking a hand through his hair. His heart was aching because of his words and he knew that this wasn't what he truly wanted, but this was how he was. He needed to protect himself. He couldn't do this, he was running. "I'm sorry, but it's better if we just forget about this all and move on. Focus on the job."

"Work partners?" Janina looked at him in surprise, tears welling in her eyes which she blinked away. She didn't want to seem weak. "I thought you were my friend," she whispered, slowly climbing out of bed. She gasped for air when she felt the intense pain in her abdomen again but she just ignored it, she just started to feel numb. "You broke my trust. Again," she held onto the IV drip pole that had her medicine attached to it so she wouldn't fall as she stood. She felt like her heart was going to combust soon. Like it would just give up on her. 

"Janina, I-" "Leave it, Rapp. You made yourself loud and clear," she whispered, her voice laced with pain and heartache. When she looked at him they finally made eye contact and she could see the shock in his eyes when he saw her expression, but she just ignored it. "You talk to Hurley," once she finished her sentence she walked away slowly despite Mitch's plea to get back in bed. She didn't want to stay in bed. She didn't want to be in a room with Mitch. She wanted everything to stop.

She wanted the torment to end.