A Man of The Pipis: A SpamtonxReader fic

3victed

It'd been a few days of living with the little puppet in your house. You two had gotten used to each other to an extent and shared your stories and problems. Spamton, a failed entrepreneur who struggled with some.. Issues. And you, a minimum-wage cashier who was late on rent and struggled with an old friend. You'd taken Spamton to the store a few times to pick out clothes, but he always seemed to stick to the same "black jacket" formula, aside from the T-shirt you gave him after he washed his first one. He wears that to bed now and hangs up his teeny jacket in your closet, not bothering to let you sleep in when he barges it at 7AM to rummage through your closet. You'd awoken on two separate occasions to find him silently standing in your open bedroom doorway with his glasses darkened. The first time, it scared you. You expected to be murdered right there, but after a moment he just turned and walked off, not saying a word. The second time, you called out to him and his eyes lit up. "Spamton what are you doing..? It's two in the morning..!" You hissed, "Nothin'." He replied, his eyes flickering as he turned and walked away. You wondered if that happened every night and if those two occurrences only seemed isolated because you suddenly woke up to catch them. Weird. Maybe he sleepwalks.
Today, you had decided to go out to eat. There was a really nice place a few blocks away that you liked to walk to and you wanted to show your new friend. "So? Where're we [running off to]?" He asked as he bounced alongside you. "Some restaurant I really like." You answered. "Y/N? You takin' me out on a [Date:1997] or somethin'?" He asked bluntly. You couldn't tell if he was joking or not and laughed nervously, brushing it off as such. "N-no! Just, I feel like we should do more together. As.. F-friends?" You tried to make an excuse, and he merely grunted in reply, staring ahead. You passed a few Addisons on the way and they cast strange looks at you and Spamton. He'd occasionally shoot figerguns in their direction, lock eyes with them, or ignore their gazes entirely. You thought about what he said though.. About a date.. Over the few days you'd had this new roommate, what had changed with you? You realized you'd been happier, clumsier, almost more energetic because of his own enthusiasm. You thought about how stupid he looked running around the apartment with the slightly-too-big T-shirt and how small he looked curled up on the couch. You thought about how lonely he must've been for so long and how you wanted to help him more. Wanted to help him succeed and how- "Y/N!! POLE!" His voice cut into your daydream as you made contact with the sturdy metal structure. You shout and clutch your nose, checking your hand. No blood, thank goodness. "Are you alright, [little sponge]? Your [schnoz] okay??" He asked with a chuckle. You could feel his tiny hand tugging on your sleeve, so you turned to him to show him you were alright. "See? I'm fine! thanks though. Seemed the warning came a little too late, heh!" You laugh it off and keep walking as he starts to joke about your blunder. You feel your phone buzz, so you pick up. "Hey, Y/N, it's Harvell, your rent's three days late. I've been easy on you, kid, but I've gotta pay my bills too." The raspy voice of your landlord fills your ear. You swear under your breath. "Hi, hey, Harv, I-I'm really sorry, I just, I'm really trying here, they aren't paying me enough for everything!" You whimper, stopping in your tracks. Spamton continues for a few more feet before stopping and turning around to look at you. "Then get another job, Y/N. I'm through with giving you chances, you've been late ever since that boy left. It's almost like he's been the one keeping you afloat. Your eviction notice is in and on the door. Get your stuff and be gone by tomorrow or I'll have to get some outside parties involved. Sorry." You tried to plead on, but he hung up before you could continue. You backed into a storefront and slid down the wall, staring blankly ahead. Evicted. Forced to either live on the street or with your lovestruck ex-friend. You expected it, but not this soon. Not while you were so happy. You had almost completely forgotten about your rent, your shitty job, Chet.. You felt sick and didn't know you were crying until you heard his voice. "Y/N..? You're [sweating]. You [Feel discomfort]??" Spamton stood in front of you and placed his little hands on your cheeks. You chuckled solemnly and gently moved his hands away. "I'm fine.. We, er, just have to move." You sniffled, wiping your face. You hadn't really cried, it was more like your eyes just watered until they overflowed and the tears ran far enough that they'd reached your cheeks. "Move?? Where?? Why??" Spamton blurted, rightfully confused. "We're moving into a friends house. I, er.. Was late on rent and.." You explained as you stood. Looking down at him, you could almost see him putting the pieces together. You could almost see the very moment the word evicted crossed his mind. At that moment, the lights in his eyes shut off and his hands started to shake slightly. "I-.. S-stop-.." He choked out quietly to himself, putting his hands on either side of his head and almost clawing at himself. "[D-DEALS] [So good they'll blow your mind!] [Practically Begging on your Knees!]" He was struggling with something. Something from his past that really exacerbated his already prevalent impediment. "Hey, hey.. It's okay! It's not that bad! We'll have more furniture a-and a bigger couch for you!!" You knelt down and tried to reassure him as static flashed across his once colorful glasses. His tension slowly eased at your touch as you tried to take his hand. He eventually sort of went limp and you managed to pick him up and carry him back home. He held onto your shirt tightly the entire way there, muttering to himself about furniture and eviction and being alone and begging someone to stop taking his things. You realized he'd probably had some trauma relating to being thrown out of his home that he must've refrained from telling you about. As you approached your door, you saw the eviction notice. Harvell, you bastard.. I can't blame him though...