A Man of The Pipis: A SpamtonxReader fic

Chet and the [BIG SHOT]

You sat in your apartment, tidying up and packing your things. Spamton had been very quiet and kept to himself, pacing in front of the window muttering as he always did about deals, Kromer, and other nonsense. He suddenly approached you as you were cleaning out your fridge. "Y/N? Who's Chet." He asked curtly. "Oh. Well, you remember that guy I told you about that time we were swapping stories? The one I used to be close with before he said he wanted to be more than friends, and then he got all weird when I rejected him?" You explained nonchalantly. "Oh. You talk about that [$$!$] in your sleep. A [Tons of hot deals]." He replied flatly before walking away and starting to pace again. In my sleep? Why would he know that I talk about him in my sleep? I don't scream his name, do I..? Your mind replayed the times you found him in your doorway. Weird.
After you'd finished all you had to in your apartment, you took your belongings and led Spamton outside, hailing a cab. You stuffed your bags into the trunk and hopped in, asking that the driver take you downtown. You pulled out your phone and read over the text strand from earlier today, before you'd started packing.

Y/N: Hey. It's been a while.
Chet: HEY!! Yes it has! It's great to hear from you, how've you been? :)
Y/N: Not good. Just got evicted from our old apartment. Harv's an ass.
Chet: Holy shit. Yeah, he is. Do you need a place to stay?
Y/N: Yeah, that's what I was just about to say.
Chet: And you better know that my door's always open for ya. ;)
Y/N: And a plus one?
Chet: Plus one?
Y/N: A new roommate. A little homeless guy I helped that turned out to be cool.
Chet: Oh lmao sure, come over any time. <3

He wasn't over you. But, really, what was the harm? Sure, he was a little weird, but never in a bad way. Staying won't be too bad, would it? You look down at Spamton who's sitting beside you and staring out the window. You wondered how him and Chet would get along. "You okay, buddy?" You asked softly and he turned to you and nodded. His smile seemed faded and his glasses were dim. "Fine. Just [Low Battery], is all." He mumbled. The Cab halted at a bus stop, and you could see Chet's neighborhood through the front windshield. You thanked the driver and paid him before exiting and getting your things. Spamton followed behind you as you walked down the street and into the neighborhood, looking at the townhouse numbers for the address Chet had given you. It didn't take you long to find it. The neighborhood was small and still in development, so you only felt like you'd walked for about seven minutes or so. "We're here!" You chimed and gestured to the home. Spamton immediately rushed up to the front door and knocked hastily, giggling the entire time. You smiled, amused by his enthusiasm, then heard the lock click and door open. "Hey, Y/N! And.. Friend!" Chet's friendly face beamed at you from the doorway. He was a young monster, one who had settled in to CyberCity long before you had. His slightly rounded sharp teeth showed cleanly in a wide grin, his bear-like fur looked brushed and trimmed. Looks like he'd painted his nails black again and was wearing one of his old edgy shirts with skeletons and fire on it. "Come on in, I'm making stir-fry!" He spoke warmly and stood aside. Spamton bolted past him and you walked in slowly, giving your old friend a hug. "For just being evicted, you look great." Chet murmured, patting your head endearingly. "You flatter me so." You groaned, rolling your eyes jokingly. "I really should've introduced you to Spamton just now.. He'll disappear for who knows how long in this place. It was hard enough finding him in my apartment." You sighed, setting your things down by the kitchen table. "He is a little guy, isn't he? I expected short, but not microscopic!" Chet chuckled breathily, returning to his stove where the savory smell of cooked chicken and vegetables wafted out of a wok he had over a burner. "Not as microscopic as your [package delivered within two to five business days]!!" Spamton suddenly declared, standing atop the kitchen table like some grand centerpiece. "SPAMTON!" You shout, turning red from embarrassment. Chet laughs as you try, desperately, to catch the little puppet, who's too small and too fast for you to capture. You end up out of breath, lying on your back. "I gotta admit, that was a sick burn! Power to the little man." Chet snickered from the stove. Spamton stood over you, his glasses illuminating your face in his shadow. "I. Don't. Like. Him." He hissed, the lights of his eyes suddenly going dark as he scuttled away to lord knows where again. This put you on edge, and you furrowed your brow as you sat up. Why doesn't he like Chet? Does he have some sixth sense or something that I can't pick up on? You wonder, bracing yourself on a chair to stand up. "He's funny, Y/N. Can we keep 'im? As like, a pet or something?" Chet joked, taking the wok off the stovetop and portioning some food out for two. Not three...