A Man of The Pipis: A SpamtonxReader fic

HEY EVERY !

Cyber City, bustling as always. Loud, bright, overwhelming at times. So much so, that a human like you needs to take a little time to yourself. You slide into an alleyway, away from the light and noise, and lean against a dumpster. Times have been tough for you as of late. Your job's been rough, pay isn't enough for bills or rent, it seemed as if the world was crashing down on you- "H-HEY-!!" A distorted voice shouts as a heavy object falls from the lid of the dumpster on top of your head, you yelp in surprise and pain, shuffling away from the thing and backing into the wall opposite of the dumpster, pressing your back into it. Your eyes adjust and you find the source of your sudden headache; a puppet. Small and disoriented, righting himself into a sitting position. He shakes his head and makes a few popping and buzzing noises, almost sounding like a machine short-circuiting. He looked a lot like the Addisons you'd always see on main street. Selling and advertising and looking clean and friendly. This, thing, however, was different, with it's pale face, red cheeks, and colored glasses. He was a lot shorter too.. "Ehehah.. Wasn't that something??" He piped, his voice harsh against your ears. "You fell on my head. That's definitely something." You grumble, standing as you rub your sore cranium. Monster antics weren't a park if your schedule. You'd rather deal with your landlord. "Something? At least [12 lonely hearts in your area] think it was something! EhAhehaha!" He cackles, trying to catch his balance as he finally stands. He's a little fella. Only standing at about your hip. You've been wondering why he's here and in the garbage, so you might as well ask: "Why were you in the dumpster?" You asked quizzically, not moving from your spot. "Oh! That's my [garbage] home!!" He responds quickly, "I'm Spa-" He starts spouting jumbled garbage before smacking the side of his head with his palm before continuing, "Spamton G. Spamton! Everyone's favorite [Number 1 rated salesman1997]!!" He introduces himself without prompt, approaching you with a wide grin. "Good to know." You murmur, wishing you'd sink into the wall behind you. "Your name?" He asks cocking his head at you, studying your form. You hesitate and eventually give in, rationalizing the decision by asking yourself, What could this little guy do to me anyhow? "Well, Y/N, have I got a deal [you'll regret for the rest if your life]! For only [1000 Kromer] I can-" He begins, his voice cutting in and out in different tones and speech patterns. You cut him off, not wanting to waste the garbage man's time, "Hey, uh, M-Mr. Spamton? I don't have any money. So, no deal." You speak up, feeling awkward cutting the little puppet man off. "No [Wacky Stacks]?? No [Hot singles]?!?" He takes a step back, looking at the ground. "Eheh.. just as [broken and alone] as I am, eh?" He asks, his voice softening. I'm not alone, You think to yourself, catching your own heart in a lie, yes you are. As of right now. And you'll probably end up in a dumpster sooner or later. You see his head raise to look up at you again in your peripheral. "You lost in [the sauce] there, Y/N??" He returned to his sprightly and energetic demeanor. "I'm fine.." You respond, snapping out of your haze, "Why do you live in a dumpster, by the way?" You asked suddenly, catching him off guard. "Oh! Uh, well, I used to be [Number 1 Salesman]! A [[BIG SHOT]]!! The biggest!!! I just, er, sorta lost what [Rapidly shrinking] funds I had left and my [pre-packaged deals] came crashing [down in the dumps]." He explained freely, seemingly not bothered by his homelessness. You wondered if it would be so bad to let him crash at your place, then immediately dismiss the idea. "You seem like a [lonely heart] in need of [quality time], though! Mind if I tag along?" He asked, approaching you again as you inched towards the exit of the alley. "T-tag along where? I'm just on a walk.." You mutter. He only smiles wider. "Then we'll walk!!"