FORNEVER | ✓

CHAPTER 37 - MAYHEM

HER

The day's dawn couldn't shine a light in our home - our once happy home, where laughter echoed and love bloomed. I slid down the bolted door, not knowing when the Sun had come up, bringing in the new day. He hadn't come out of his room since last night, despite me begging for him to open the door, there was no response. There couldn't be a chance that he was sleeping like the dead, for he is one of the lightest sleepers I knew. I knew he could hear my whimpering, I knew he heard my wailing. I knew he heard every one of the thousand punches I pummelled the door with, and yet there I was, not willing to believe that he didn't care. There was no chance in this world that he wouldn't care. That was Siddhanth. My Siddhnath. The man I had given my heart to. The man I had dared to love despite the past his father warned me about. I didn't care. I wouldn't care. Not even if he jolted me by my shoulders and told me he didn't love me - I'd love him as my life depended on it. He was my first love. No way in hell would I give up on him.

I didn't know when I had fallen asleep, there on the floor, because when I opened my eyes, I was laying against his door, which was still shut. I looked around, pushing my messy tresses away from my drenched face, trying to quench my thirst with my parched throat. I drew in a deep breath before collecting myself and walking to the table, pouring in a glass of water. I slumped in the chair as I finished my third glass, my head feeling lighter from before. I rested my head on the table, before hoisting it up listening to the door click. My eyes wandered and then stayed at his door, waiting for him to walk out of it. After about fifteen minutes of staring dead at his door, I saw him walking out of it with a towel draped around his waist. He strode from his door to mine, of course after lovingly ignoring me as my eyes followed his eyes every step.

"Siddhanth-" escaped my lips as I heard my door being shut. Warm tears filled my eyes, not knowing why he was giving me the go by because if this was his coping mechanism, I absolutely despised it. I got up from the chair almost dashing to my own door and began to pummel it yet again. I couldn't muster any more words, for I had enough, I wanted him to open the door so that I could knock a few senses in his empty head until I paused, my fist up in the air as I withdrew it and stood there, my face an inch or two away from it. He opened the door after getting dressed in a black shirt and grey pants, walking out absentmindedly, which of course had him run into my face. He looked up with no expression, his eyes boring into mine until I blinked a few times to bring myself back to the present moment from the intensity he poured onto me.

"Why are you ignoring me?" I said as he walked past me, his shoulder brushing against mine. He picked up a few things like his car keys and headed towards the door before I called out to him once again.

"Siddhanth!"

"What!" I shuddered listening to him talking through his gritted incisors. Disbelief and agony stormed my head as he stood there with his back facing me. I inched towards him, not knowing if it was the best idea for the day before halting an inch away from him. Honestly? I just wanted to hug him and weep, I know, not exactly my moment to cry a river, because it was him who was evidently hurt from events I didn't know of, but what could have I done feeling as helpless as I did standing near him but nowhere close to him.

"Talk to me..." My fingers gently brushed against his lats, climbing upwards to his shoulder. He lowered his head before turning it to his side. I couldn't see his eyes but I knew, I knew he was fighting the demons he didn't want me to have a look at. Ever Since he had stepped into my life, a smile had never left his face, and here I was seeing the same man - crushed into bite-sized pieces his consciousness wanted to feast upon, while he wanted to stick them all together, to form himself as a whole once again.

"You need to leave for Delhi as soon as you can." He trod swiftly to the door and shut it close behind him leaving me with those words.

"Wha-what?" escaped my lips only to be greeted by the hushed hall and his scent. I didn't know if I should cry or should I run after him, should I condemn him or should I let him do whatever he thought was right? My knees gave up the fight as they landed on the floor, my dry eyes not knowing the answers to my turmoil anymore, as I stared blankly at the door he had shut close on my face.