FORNEVER | ✓

CHAPTER 39 - DYSPHORIA

HER

Paas aaiye, ki hum nahi, ayenge baar baar

(Come closer to me, for I won't come to you all the time)

His eyes evidently turned into a melancholy as the song played in the background, zeroing in at the dysphoric conundrum we both had now become a part of.

Baahe gale main daalke, hum role zaar zaar

(Let my arms circle around you, and let me cry unabashedly.)

I withdrew my hand to pull it closer to my chest as I felt a lump forming in my throat. He took a grab of my cold fingers locking them into his warm ones. His eyes mustered to stay in mine as I didn't want to look away, for I was unsure if I'd get to look into them as often as I'd like, from now.

Aankho se fir ye pyaar ki barsaat ho na ho

(My eyes may never rain my love like this ever again)

Hot tears pooled in the corners of my eyes, and honestly? I didn't want to blink them away. I wanted to cry, I wanted to come undone. He was hurting, but so was I. He had his reasons, and so did I. I wanted to hold onto my love my first love, but I guess he needed space. Was I misunderstanding his need to protect me from my qualms about him wanting space?

Shayad fir iss janam main, mulaquaat ho na ho

(And we might never meet again, in this lifetime)

His parted lips presaged the words he wanted to soothe me with, before the car behind us honked, bringing him back to look straight at the signal that had just turned green. We hadn't realized when we reached our home - our home - I mean his, his house as he pulled in front of the magnificent gates. I unlocked the seat belt that he had latched at one of the red signals for I had been too mad at him to do it myself earlier.

My attention was brought to my ringing phone as I got off the car, followed by him. I recognized my brother on the caller ID, as I slid across the green button.

"Where are you?"

"In front of our, I mean Siddhanth's house."

"Okay listen to me. I am here with Soumya, she had been feeling quite unwell ever since she came home this afternoon. I am at the local clinic with her. Samira will be staying at her friend's place tonight, I just wanted to inform the two of you-"

"Wait what happened to Akka?" His head darted at me as he listened in more closely.

"'We are here to inquire the same. Do not get out of the house before I come back, do we understand each other?"

I nodded.

"Is Siddhanth with you?"

Siddhanth had now snatched away the phone from my fingers as I looked at myself gaping.

"What happened to my sister? Where is my sister!"

After frantically raking his hand through his thick locks, he pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes.

"Where are you guys? I am coming right now!"

Had it been his phone, he might have smashed it into pieces or tossed it into the depths of an unknown land, but since it was mine, it only had to go through his intensive grip around it, which I was afraid would crack the screen.

I placed a hand on his shoulder before he turned around to his iPhone that blared from inside his car. He jogged his way to the driver's seat fishing out the ringing device from the dashboard.