OnlyUs

I Need You

Jack lets out a frustrated sigh, pacing the living room. He and Alex had a long chat with Alex's therapist, where it was decided that he would get his own individual therapy. He's fine with it in theory, but the idea of actually doing it scares him. He knows he shouldn't fear the help, especially when it will benefit himself and his relationship with Alex in the long run. He and Alex hadn't spoken any further about the issue of Alex wanting to leave on his own and whether or not he truly meant it when he said he wouldn't go anywhere without him. He wants to believe him.
Alex simply watches him, unwilling to ask why he's pacing. There's no need to make Jack more anxious. Next week will be tough enough as it is. The rest of the night is spent in a comfortable silence.

Jack gets off of work, he's been waiting for and dreading this day all week. Today is the day of his first solo therapy appointment.

Jack: I'm scared. What if they tell me I'm like, crazy or something?

Alex: That's not how therapy works. If they did that, I'd likely be in a mental institution.

Jack: I know. I'm just nervous.

Alex: Good luck. You won't need it because you're gonna be just fine, but good luck anyway because I love you.

Jack: I love you too.

Alex: Thank you for agreeing to do this.

Jack: I feel awful about what happened. I feel awful that I sort of guilt tripped you into changing your mind about wanting to be alone. So yeah, of course I'm doing it. You don't need to thank me for trying to be better. I'm really sorry.

Alex: You don't need to apologize for it. I understand. Emotions were high, a lot of things have been going on. Things have been more than tough. You went through it too. Not just me. Please don't apologize for having feelings.

Jack: It's not the feelings I'm apologizing for. It's the way I acted on those feelings towards you. I basically just victimized you more and I'm sorry.

Alex: I forgive you. Go to your appointment. I'm okay at home. I'm playing Halo online with Jenna.

Jack: Have fun.

Alex: I am.

It's not that the appointment went bad, per se. It actually went well in Jack's opinion, the thing that left him uneasy is the fact that his therapist told him that he too, like Alex, but much more mildly, might be experiencing some post traumatic stress disorder after the things that happened, and his therapist added in that he definitely did gaslight Alex in that situation last week.
It was the plan they made on what he can do about it that has his stomach in knots.

Jack unlocks the front door after tapping it twice, something they'd come up with so Alex didn't freak out if the camera didn't go off or something.
"How'd it go?" Alex asks, putting his controller down.
"Can we talk?" Jack sighs, sitting down on the couch next to him.

Alex sends a text to Jenna saying he's got to go and gets off the game, "Of course we can." He says, turning so he's facing Jack.
"We talked about what happened last week, because that's mostly what I needed to get off my chest and he told me that it seems like maybe I'm dealing with some PTSD from it all too, and we talked about that for a while. Then we talked about our, whatever that was and he agreed that I completely gaslighted you, and that was beyond unfair of me. I'm so sorry for doing that Alex...He sort of told me to look at things from your perspective, which was hard to do since I didn't go through what you did...He told me to take my anxiety that I had during the whole situation and imagine myself in your shoes. So I did that, and I think I managed to sort of put myself at least somewhat in your shoes and I get it a little better now..." He frowns, feeling worse as Alex puts his arm around him, "I just want you to do what makes you happy Alex...If you feel like you need to go be alone for a while, then please don't let me stop you. I understand that you said you wouldn't be like, leaving me. Just going to be alone for a bit. We worked just fine before we moved in together, so what's some time apart now while you figure things out? I'm really sorry that I flipped like that."