Her Bucket List [completed]

❥10

Bucket List - #71 - "When I'm dead, I don't want to be known as dead. I believe that I'll still be there, and I'm okay with that."

** If anything is in italics it is either supposed to be emphasized or stressed OR it is supposed to be a flashback and/or memory **

unedited

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         Tulips, roses, and petunias were all gathered around me as I searched for a bouquet of flowers from this flower ship down at Alex's grave site.

        Nothing looked like it would suit her. Heck, even the perfectly shaped roses didn't even look like it would suit her. 

        "Looking for something, sir?" The lady asked me from behind the cash register. She looked as if she was in her mid 30's. She was wearing long black pants and an apron over her white t-shirt. 

        "Just some flowers, but I can't seem to find the right one."

        She walked around from the counter and stood next to me. Her hands hovered over a few bouquets but when she touched one, the hand immediately sailed to another bouquet.

        "I know it's hard, especially considering that you can never find the right one because you're scared that they might not love it, even though they may be dead. I bought tulips for my husband and I swear he's trying to haunt me right now." The lady said, chuckling.

        "My name is Mary. I also lost a loved one just a few days ago, and I can tell that you've lost someone very important to you as well. Your facial expression shows pain and agony, which gives it away."

        I hesitantly smiled at the lady and she picked up a bouquet of red and white roses and placed them in my hands.

        "They're on the house. I'm pretty sure this special someone wants to talk to you. Make sure you act like they're there, because they are. They're always with you."        

        I nodded and thanked the lady before walking out. 

        Alex was always with me, I guess, but why couldn't I sense her presence next to me? Where was she when I almost tried to kill myself so I can be with her?

        I sped my car up the hill, looking for the exact spot where Alex was buried. Her mom picked a special spot on the top of the hill, which was both a blessing and a curse.

        She always loved looking out and enjoying the view.

        When I found her spot, which wasn't that far as I had hoped, I hopped out of the car and froze in my spot. 

        I blinked back the tears, but my body was finally processing what had happened. She was gone. Officially gone. She's never coming back, she's never going to re appear. 

        My feet slowly walked towards her plaque that was laid over the grass where she was buried underground. 

        "Alex - An angel sent from heaven to earth is now back home, looking down on us. We love you."

        I placed the flowers in the hole.

        "I'm sorry that I couldn't be there for your burial." I whispered, sitting criss-crossed next to her. 

        "I couldn't bare it, I hope you understand."

        I heard nothing but the breeze zip through my ears. Please, give me a sign.

        Give me a sign that you still love me.

        "I'm so lost without you, Alex. I can't find my way around anything. I'm such a screw-up. You were one of the main reasons I woke up everday. I wanted to see you, hold you, and just love you until the end of time. How can I do that now? You're gone and I'm broken, and nobody else can fix me but you." 

        My tears dripped onto her plaque as my hand slowly made it's way and traced he engravings on the plaque.

        "I love you, Alex. It may not be the same way now, but I will always love you. I wish you could come back to me, but I know you can't. You're happy, and I'm glad. If I have to suffer for you, so be it. I would be glad to take a bullet for you."

        The wind slowly died down and all was quiet. I watched and watched, waiting for something to happen. 

        Then a bug zipped by my ear and landed on the plaque. It crawled over the words that red, "love you," and then took off and flew away.

        I looked up at the sky and smiled. She was still here, looking down at me.

        She still loves me. Even if that wasn't a sign, it was enough for me to understand that I'm not completely lost just because she isn't physically with me.

        If she's looking down at me and protecting me, I don't have a problem.

        I love her, and she loves me.

        My sweet, sweet Alex. I'll be okay. I'll survive the battle just for you.

        You complete me, and I sure as hell complete you.

        ---

        A/N: 

The ending to "Her Bucket List!" I know it's short af, but I am making an epilogue because a bit more needs to be told about the characters and such.

Yes, I am ending "Her Bucket List." 

It's not because I don't love the story, which I do, but my ideas are running out and there's really not much I can write to make the story go along well.

I hope you understand, but this is it!

This is the last chapter ( minus the epilogue ) of "Her Bucket List"

Thanks for reading!

-Jessica Ann

P.S The epilogue should be up by the time I publish Chapter 10