Her Bucket List [completed]

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Bucket List - #54 - "I've always wanted to be dressed in white and purple at my funeral. Purple is my favorite color, after all."

** If anything is in italics it is either supposed to be emphasized or stressed OR it is supposed to be a flashback and/or memory **

        I watched as everyone said their goodbyes to sweet, sweet Alex.

        Her mother took Alex's lifeless hand and looked at her swet, angelic face.

        She knew she was in a better place. Alex wasn't suffering anymore, but she's making the people around her suffer even more.

        Tears brimmed her mother's eyes and she looked at her baby girl once again and that was what sent her over the edge. She quickly started sobbing and the tears started flowing down her cheeks.

        They didn't know that Alex was depressed, or whatever you'd like to call it. They never knew the true story to her death.

        Although, no one knew why she killed herself. I guess that's just something she brought to the grave with her.

        You see, Alex would always wear a smile on her face so her parents wouldn't see. She didn't want them to see that she was getting bullied, receiving threats, and getting physically and mentally damaged, inside and out.

        I felt bad for Alex but I promised her to never tell her parents what people would do to her. It pained me, yes, but I had to do it. She kept my secrets, so why shouldn't I keep hers?

        Her parents did ask me, one day, if I knew why Alex committed suicide. I simply looked down and shrugged, acting as if I didn't know, but I did. I knew what happened to Alex. I just didn't know what pushed her over the edge to the point where she was thinking of killing herself - and actually doing it.

         I've already said my goodbyes to Alex every night after she was dead. I cried myself to sleep. Not having her with me, in my arms, it felt wrong. It didn't feel right and I didn't like it one bit.

         I knew that I can never move on from her, not after all the memories we shared, but I know she's looking after me and telling me up above in paradise, "Move on, weirdo. I'll be fine."

        If only Alex knew that she was bullied because she was different. A good different. Her bullies didn't like her because she was getting all the attention instead of them. So, they wanted to destroy her reputation but what they didn't know at the time is that they wouldn't just be killing her reputation - they would be killing her.

        None of them showed up to her funeral.

        They were invited, of course. Everyone in her school was invited to say their goodbyes to their friend, enemy, or even their student. Only a couple of her friends came and they didn't even bother wearing make-up because they knew they would be crying their eyes out.

        Alex was dressed in a custom made dress that was supposed to be for Prom, which I didn't even bother going to last Saturday. It reminded me too much of her. She always wanted to go to Prom. She wanted to wear a pretty dress, get her nails done, and her hair done, too. Just like any other girl would.

But she made the choice to not see Prom. She couldn't bother waiting any longer because she knew it would only get worse.

        Her dress was white with a purple, silk ribbon tied in the middle. The dress looked liked a wedding dress, minus the ribbon. She looked stunning for a dead girl. She looked almost alive when I saw her for the first time with that dress.         

        I can only imagine what her reaction would've been if she was alive when her parents would've given her the dress as a present so she wouldn't have to wear one of her old hand-me-down dresses from her mother.

--

        The casket closed and slowly entered out. Alex never wanted an open casket, but her Mom thought it was right to have it open because nobody got to say goodbye to Alex.

        I watched as I said goodbye to my sweet, sweet Alex. I would never get to see her body again and I will not be going to her burial.

        Like I have said, I already said my dues to Alex after she died. I found no need to punish myself even more in seeing her lifeless form being placed in a hole in the ground. 

--

        "You have beautiful eyes. They're so blue, like the ocean." Alex said, turning her attention towards her boyfriend, Ethan. Ethan smiled back, stroking her hair.

        They were star gazing up at the sky in a grassy plain in the park. This was their official first date and Alex couldn't be happier. She hasn't been happy lately so this was a drastic change.

        "Alex, D-Do you ever wonder what's going to happen when we, you know, pass on?" Ethan asked, sighing. Alex just looked up into his eyes and smiled lightly. "I don't know but whenever it happens, it happens."

        Ethan just nodded and continued stroking his beautiful, fragile girlfriend.

        "Oh, hey, the ice cream truck!" Alex said, standing up, breaking away from Ethan's grasp.

        She heard the familiar tunes of the truck a few blocks down. She had been craving for some ice cream for so long.

        Her Mom hadn't been able to get groceries because of the long hours at work. Alex couldn't do it either seeing as if she was banned at her local supermarket. Let's just say someone got punched.

        "Want the one shaped like spongebob? "

        "Of course! I loved the ones that are deformed.. They make me laugh."

        "Only you, Alex." Ethan said, putting his hand around her waist. She blushed lightly, resting her head on his broad shoulder.

        "I love you, you know?" Alex said, blurting out words that she was thinking.

        "I love you too. Don't ever forget that."

        "I promise that whatever happens you'll be in my heart. Forever."
        

        "Promise?"

        "Promise."

        "Now, where's my ice cream?" She asked, giggling as the ice cream truck pulled up next to them.

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editing: 

edited - 4/2/15