I'm Here For You (Wolfstar)

Chapter 3.

Sirius Pov

James was starting to drive me crazy. A week into school, and I'd already heard enough about Lily Evans to write a 1,000 page book on her. All he'd been talking about was Lily! Lily this, Lily that, Lily hugged me today Pads! He was my best friend, and I was happy for him, but every single day he said, "I'm telling you Pads, this year is going to be great!' I couldn't see how, as the war against Voldemort raged on and soon we'd have to start fighting. I, personally, couldn't wait. It would give the feeling of DOING something instead of just sitting around. I didn't know about James. He was probably dreaming of Evans.

Things with Remus were ok, I guess. We had been spending more time together since James was annoying both of us. He never seemed to meet my eyes anymore, and I wished he would. Mostly, we just studied and practiced spells. It was ok, because I was already feeling confident about my N.E.W.T.S.

Occasionally I thought I was starting to sound like Remus. I loved him (completely platonically, of course) and all, but he was so...scholarly. Sure, he could have his fun, but really, when it came down to it, school was a first. There was no playing around when he was focused and ready to work.

I really wanted to get James to shut the bloody hell up about Evans for one minute and go prank stupid Lucius Malfoy, but no. He had to 'make sure that I finally get Lily to love me.'

The full moon was approaching quickly, and Remus was grouchy and in pain. I felt terrible, so I started doing things for him. Not huge, cause he hates that, but small. Like a cup of hot cocoa in the morning next to his bed, topped with extra chocolate of course, doing my own homework, fixing his jumpers, and even buying him new ones. There were many more, but the list would never end if I kept going. I thought Remus deserved it.

I mean, maybe it seemed kinda creepy, but that's what you did when you had a crush, right? You made sure that they were comfortable and happy as they could be during a time of pain and struggle. Obviously, just a small crush on him. Just a small thing that'd be gone in a week. I wouldn't have any tingles when we touched, a shortage of breath when he walked in a room, a constant ache to see him, my heart skipping a beat when he smiled, a dry mouth when he looked at me. Just temporary... Right?
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Remus Pov

I felt bad for Sirius, more so than I already did. I knew he had issues with his family- they were the main reason for his 'no fucks given' attitude. I knew that James was neglecting him- they hadn't had a conversation about pranks or fun in a week. I knew he just wanted company- he might pretend to not care, but deep down he was just a 17 year old boy who wanted to spend his last year at Hogwarts having fun with his friends, not studying.

He had started hanging out with me, not that I minded. He could always come hang out with me as far as I was concerned, but it didn't seem right for him. He was doing almost as well as me in all of our classes, and he hadn't pulled a prank the entire week we had been at Hogwarts.

Even with my 'furry little problem' , as Sirius would say, getting closer, I felt Sirius' pain more than my own. When he was feeling down, he'd disappear for a couple hours at a time. He always came back, but until he did, I had no idea where he went.

Sometimes I noticed things that I knew were Sirius. Hot chocolate in the morning? That's a classic Sirius thing to do. I noticed that he did more of his own homework, and always studied with me. Never out of obligation since he would ask me first. I noticed that some of my jumpers had magically fixed themselves, and some new ones were in there too. My favorite jumper had leather patches sewed on the elbows.

He thought I didn't notice, but I did. I always noticed what that boy did. The thought that he would rather take care of me around the full moon than take care of himself never failed to make me smile. It still doesn't. How a family could resent a child like him astounded me.

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One day after Sirius stormed away being particularly mopey, I decided to talk to James. I myself felt very frustrated by how much he has been neglecting us, so I figured it was time.

"Hey mate!" I said, approaching him. We were outside by the lake, so it was relatively quiet. No Lily Evans to get in the way.

"Oh, hey Moons, how's your furry little problem going?"

"Fine, but that's not what I want to talk about. I'm worried about Sirius, James. I think.... I think you're spending too much time with Lily."

James looked mad already. He retorted, "Yeah, well Sirius can tell me himself that he's mad at me and then maybe I'll do something different. I have more important things to worry about."

I bristled. He may have been a fine person and friend, but he didn't know how to hold a proper conversation.

"Oh? And we don't have bigger things to worry about?! Tell me, do you have to transform into a werewolf every month? Do you have to deal with parents who hate you? Do you have to deal with being ashamed of having a crush? Do you have to deal with your parents disowning you? No. What do you have to deal with? Lily. That's all. But somehow, we still manage to find time in our life to worry about you, and how you're our best friend, and if we did something to offend you! Sirius and I can handle TWICE as much pain as you will ever be able to handle because we don't get caught up with a stupid GIRL. So you know what? Don't even bother coming with us to the Shack tomorrow night. We can deal just fine without you!"

By this point I was shouting, and I was about to cry. I couldn't believe him. I turned on my heal and walked out, leaving James sitting there, gaping like a fish.

I walked into our dorm room, and I collapsed onto my bed. I sighed, letting the tears come quickly and heavily. Just then, Sirius walked in, and sat on my bed. He hugged me, trying to make me feel better. When that didn't work, he transformed into the huge, shaggy black dog and licked my tears off my face, then curled up next to me. I tangled my fingers in his hair, and we feel asleep like that, the dog and the wolf.

The next morning, I woke up and blinked my eyes. I went to turn over to see what the time was, but found myself unable to move. Looking, I saw Sirius' arms around my waist. He must have changed at some point during the night to sleep more comfortably. He never said anything about it, but being in the form of a dog hurt him.

I gently moved onto my back so that I didn't wake him and watched the long haired boy sleep. His small exhales pushed his long black hair out of his face, deep inhales pulled them back in. He had a small smile on his face, leaving me to imagine he was in a dream where everything was okay with James, and he had a loving family who wanted him around. His eyelashes rested on his cheek lightly and I could see the movement of his eyes behind their lids.

My perfect black dog....

We stayed there for about an hour- him asleep next to me as I watched him and took in every detail that drove me crazy, without anyone noticing or judging- until his eyes blinked open and he stirred.

He looked at me, taking everything in, and then sat up quickly, pulling his arms away.

"Oh my god, Remus, I'm sorry, I didn't know, I didn't mean to, I'm so sorry!" He stuttered, blushing.

I smiled a bit, looking at him fumble for words. "It's ok, Pads. I don't mind. Really."

He looked up at me. "Really?"

"Really. That was probably the best sleep I've had in ages."

"Me too."

I laughed, and pulled him close to me. "I love you, Sirius. You know I'm always...." I stopped. I couldn't say what I really wanted to- I'm always going to. I decided on the next best thing. "I'm here for you."

He looked into my eyes with a big smile. "I love you too, Remus."