the most brilliant darkness;; jwy, csan

05

the trend, you've learned, has become to simply not talk about what you do in your private time with san.

does it become a habit? yes, unfortunately, one that occurs once a week if not more than that. it becomes difficult when yunho starts getting home before you do, and you're forced to answer his questions as to where you've been, but just saying "out with san" suffices enough because he doesn't think there's anything suspicious there. at least he doesn't voice it. he usually just shrugs and says it's good that you're getting out more.

you never stay the night at the nice hotel on the outskirts of town, one that's surely pricey given how it has velvet upholstery and silk sheets in the bedroom, along with a bathroom that's bigger than your room in your aunt's house. the balcony attached to the room is where you spend most your time after your less than savory sexual activities with san. he always pulls the purple velvet armchairs out the sliding doors and sets them out on the balcony so you two can sit and watch the night sky together before it gets too late. it seems bizarre to you that he would spend so much money renting the room out for the night only to never ask if you want to stay over; san always without fail brings you home at midnight, waving to the receptionist on the way out like this is a totally normal situation.

on the bright side (yes, there is one, and it's one your therapist really enjoys hearing about), you take lots of photos while over at that hotel with san. usually, you use the balcony as a vantage point to take pictures of the stars and moon, or if the moon is full enough, you're able to get good photos of the landscape with yellow moonlight splashed over it. you start bringing your camera to your therapy sessions just to show the doctor your work with no shortage of pride, because it's something you're good at and you'll be damned if you don't get to show off the one thing you worked so hard on for four years.

you spend a lot more time outside and in the park as well, which is also good for you because it means more sun and outside air, and you're no longer tired all the time as you used to be. you don't always go out with people, sometimes it's better if you get to be out on your own with your thoughts. sometimes one of your friends will drop by if you've been out long enough. other times, a certain stranger finds you there.

the first time it happens you write it off as a coincidence. the man with four (yes, four still) shades in his hair waves at you from across the grass, and you offer a shy wave in response. he passes on and leaves you be.

the second time, he stops to speak with you.

"hi. out here alone again?"

"you know that sounds creepy, right?" you argue, but you think you could take him in a fight. easily.

"oh, does it? sorry! i just meant you seem to be out here alone a lot. not that i'm watching you!" the way he fumbles with his words and struggles to stop digging his grave deeper is almost endearing. you laugh as he shakes his head and slaps his own cheeks. "i'm wooyoung, by the way! you probably only know me as the grocery store victim or that weird stranger who keeps bothering me at the park."

"wooyoung," you repeat, testing the name on your tongue then letting it go on loop in your mind until you think you've got it down. "it's nice to meet you, wooyoung. i'm y/n."

"y/n," he echoes back to you. that little bit of your brain that produces serotonin trills from the sound of it on his lips, an inexplicable joy coming from just that one thing. "you like photography then?" he motions to the camera in your hands.

"yeah, well, i majored in it actually. so i sure hope i like it."

"cute," the stranger giggles. you're a simple girl. being called cute makes your heart do backflips and somersaults, and this is no exception. "i've got to run back to the cafe right now, but if we ever happen across each other again, i'll stop and ask to see your pictures, okay? be ready for it!"