To Be Loved By You - Brad Simpson Fanfiction

Chapter Twenty-Nine

A/N: Hey besties <3 Hope you're having a great weekend!!

Enjoy this one!!! And as always, let me know what you think

ps. I could really do with Brad telling me the words he says so Lizzy tbh

I'm woken up by the sun shining through the curtains of the hotel room and right onto the bedding. It gets warm and I cuddle further into the blanket. Then I remember what I did last night.

I turn around but Brad's nowhere to be seen. I gently stroke the empty spot he left. A bit disappointed I didn't get to wake up to his beautiful face.

But he doesn't seem to be in the bathroom either. The door isn't fully closed and neither light nor noise are coming from the other room.

Right before I want to designate and get out of bed the door to the hotel room opens. In walks Brad with a big tray in his arms.

'You're awake!" His eyes light up when he sees me.

He places the tray on the bed and sits down.

Then he leans in.

For a second it seems as if he's going to kiss me, my heart starts pounding incredibly fast, as if I've not just woken up. But he places his lips on my cheek for a brief moment before he pulls away again.

He smells of soap and lemongrass and I'm pretty sure he must have already had a shower this morning.

I wonder how that didn't wake me up. I guess I needed that sleep.

'I wasn't really sure what to get but you always seem to go for yoghurt and fruits in the morning so I brought that and some tea', Brad says whilst pouring some steaming water into two cups.

'Have you stalked my breakfast choices?', I ask, trying my best to hide the foolish smile that wants to creep onto my lips.

Red patches form on Brad's cheeks. 'I don't know I just kinda noticed that.'

I chuckle and scoot closer to him. Putting my arms around him from the back I lean forward and press a soft kiss to his cheek. It's a bit weird to touch him like that and I'm convinced he must feel my heart pound through my chest against his back.

'It's cute. Thank you.'

That's an understatement. I don't think I've ever witnessed something more attentive. Brad hands me one of the cups and I pull away from him to take it. I lean back against the head board and watch Brad as he takes one of the yoghurt bowls and starts eating. He seems very concentrated on his food. His hair is extra curly this morning, I assume because he's just washed it, and he's wearing joggers and a white shirt. The shirt is tight enough for me to see his back muscles shine through whenever he moves his arm. I can barely resist to brush my fingers across them. Instead I take the other bowl and start to eat.

'Can I ask you something?'

He seems reluctant. I knew he was thinking about something.

I nod and wait for him to go on.

'What did you mean when you said you still struggle with bad body image days?'

I put the bowl down on my lap. Brad's eyes scan my face and I know he isn't sure whether it's okay that he asked that.

But it is. I might not like talking about it much but I know talking about it is the only thing that helps.

So I give him an assuring smile.

'Well, I can't really explain it. Sometimes I wake up or look into a mirror and, well', I look down on my hands and fiddle with the spoon. I've gotta to be honest, no matter how hard the words are to get across my lips. 'I guess sometimes I just hate everything about myself. And then it's hard for me to do the easiest things. Going for a swim with you and the others was one of those things.'

I finally look up at Brad but I can't really figure out what he's thinking. I just hope this doesn't make him change his mind about me – about us. I probably wouldn't even judge him for that. Sometimes, well, sometimes I'm still a mess.

No Liz, stop that negativity. You know Brad. He isn't like that.

'In moments like that I have to be very careful. Because when I'm not I might start skipping meals again and from there all that fucked up disordered behavior is only a stone's throw away.'

My voice has gotten quieter because simply thinking about relapsing scares the shit out of me.

Brad grabs my hand. He looks hurt. 'I'm so sorry you still have bad days like that.'

'I've gotten kinda used to it. I mean, I know how to handle days like that', I try to play it down a bit. I don't want him to worry so much. But I can't convince him of my words.

He scoots closer to me. His leg is touching mine now and his face is so close I'd just need to lean forward a bit to press my lips on his.

'You shouldn't be feeling like this. Life's not supposed to be this heavy.' He gently strokes my thigh with his hand. I can feel the butterflies in my stomach starting a tango.

'I know this probably won't help because shit like this isn't simple like that but', he pauses for a second. I know he's thinking carefully about every word he uses now. I've been through this before. People, and especially the people that care the most, don't really know how to talk about a topic like this. Especially in the beginning. My brother still struggles with it but Maya can handle it by now. She pulls me back into reality when the voice in my head gets too loud.

I squeeze Brad's hand a little, hoping to assure him that he can't really say anything wrong. Because even if he did, I know he doesn't mean it.

'You are the most gorgeous person I have ever laid eyes on. And I'm not just saying this because I hope it will make you feel better. I know it probably won't. But I mean it. And I want you to know, when you can't see the beauty in yourself – I'm right here to remind you of the way I see you.'

This is the second time this boy's now made me cry within 24 hours. I try my hardest to pull myself together but his words really hit deep.

'Thank you', is all I get out whilst he gently brushes away the tears rolling down my cheeks. He's even closer to me now, his scent in my nose and hot breath tickling my skin. I want to lean forward. Lean in to finally kiss him again. Feel his body move against mine.

But before I can his phone rings.

I sigh when he pulls away.

'Yeah?', he answers it.

When he hangs up there's a big grin on his face.

'What is it?'

'You won't like this.'

'What?' I sit up a bit.

Brad throws the phone on the bed. 'That was Joe. Wanted to remind me I have to be ready in ten minutes.'

'Shit!'

I jump up from his bed. 'That means I have to be ready in ten too.'

I grab my phone and my key card from the bed side table.

'Two nights in your bed and I'm already as late as you.'

Brad just laughs whilst I run through the room like a startled chicken.

'Stop it', I exclaim, absolutely not amused about the situation. 'I'm leaving now', I say before opening the door, not without turning around once more and sticking my tongue out at him.