Felidae(Neko)(boyxboy)

Chapter 7

[Midnight Winterrs]

I stepped over vibrations,

—with the claws of a cat.

Watched over the night,

—With the eyes of crying animal.

Now I’m nothing,

But a monster,

—seared in black.

The grey sea of concrete was almost empty. Only few mobiles rush across with blinding headlights and a faint noise of the tires revolving on the ground.

This time, no one would see me, no one would stop and pick me up. No Kyle.

The familiar setting of swings, slides and their bloodred scent pierced by senses sending me to the scene of nostalgia. Shadows of the past were all I could see, with hollow whispers of our introduction that day— when Kyle finally acknowledge my presence.

I walked through the sanded surface of the playground, walking through the shaded area were the silver moonlight couldn’t reach.

The dark is where I’ve always lived,

To the point where I could see everything hiding in it,

—even the way Kyle hides his secrets in the deepest of himself.

And the only thing I couldn’t see,

Is myself.

Everything suddenly feels like it was a dream— a fairytale, but I woke up. It was an expensive dream that I had to stake all off me, a fairytale I gambled for, hoping it would work out but reality crept its way in.

My body felt weak, every part of it. I wouldn’t want to walk, to think, to cry anymore. I didn’t have the right to cry— especially when I’m the one to leave.

I slumped against the cool hard surface under the playground slides. The orange lights from the post seemed to dance, blurred from the tears that blocked my vision, threatening to escape.

If I didn’t see Blake... If he didn’t see me, I would still be in Kyle’s arms, doing everything I’ve never done, spending the time I’ve lost in the 19 years of torment.

19 years of punishment.

And I was given few days of happiness.

How unfair is that?

A sob I didn’t want to hear escaped my lips. It was a rasp, languid tune I’ve been hearing every day until I met Kyle. It was a voice that only Kyle was able to mute, and now that it’s back, it only meant that he’s already gone.

I didn’t stop the tears from falling, I couldn’t. I couldn’t even if I had fallen asleep.

[Dream or more like a flashback.]

Whips, chains, barbed wires, blood.

My eyes scanned through everything it could manage to suck in, my vision blurred as I’ve just awoken from the sleep I didn’t want to get. Because I knew the moment I open my eyes I’ll be chained to this table made from ebony.

“Good morning Middy.” Blake said. I couldn’t see his face, for it was hidden behind the circular walls of the single light that illuminated right before my eyes.