The Rickrolled Cutie ✦ Newtmas AU

the rickrolled cutie - chapter 1

newt was wandering around london. he just wanted to find somewhere interesting to shop, or have a nice cuppa. minho had decided to tag along with him, just because.

"newt! bitch! it's going to rain! my hair is going to be so messed up. i swear, choose a cafe already." minho frantically tried to cover his head with his hands, as his stupid self forgot to bring a coat.

"shut up minho." newt, however, was sensible and decided to bring a coat as you can never trust british weather.

"no! get into a goddamn cafe before my poor, amazing, beloved, fantastic, magical, great, supe-"
"if you add one more adjective for your blummin hair im pushing you into the road." minho exaggerated zipping his mouth shut.

"you wouldn't dare though. you love me really."

"beg to differ."

as if on cue, it began to rain.

"no oh my god newt i hate you we're going here i don't need your opinion shut up and get your hot chocolate or whatever you want." minho frantically grabbed newt and dragged him into the nearest cafe.

"i should've pushed you into that road, minho."

"the audacity!" he put a hand to his heart dramatically. newt just rolled his eyes.

the cafe was cute, to be fair. a simple one, nice decoration, a few plants, pretty furniture. it would've been nicer if the sun was pouring through in minho's opinion, but hey, it wasn't and it was cosy in the rain so neither could complain.

well, until a new song started.

"oh my god." minho started laughing his ass off. "newt! can you hear that! i can't breathe!!"

newt cracked a smile, but looked rather irritated too. "whoever rick rolled us is going to feel my wrath." he huffed, crossing his arms. suddenly, minho perked up.

"hey? you remember when i bought you that poster of whoever it was because you forgot your wallet?"

"yes.. also say his name, chris hemsworth is hot."

"you said that about harry styles yesterday."

"shut up."

"anyway, you said you'd pay me back."

"yeah..."

"and now, i've had an idea. you don't have to pay me back, if you do one thing."

"no, bloody hell, i've not even heard it and i refuse." newt rolled his eyes.

"oh come on! hear me out!"

"no."

"newtie!"

"fine. what is it?"

"go ask a worker who rick rolled us. it'd be hilarious!" minho laughed.

"is that it? psh, easy! deal. also, it really would be." newt cracked a smile, joining in with his friend's laughter.

"okay, you go order then! i want an espresso." (A/N idk why but i can really imagine minho liking espressos and i sort of love it) minho wasted no time in practically running to a seat, and flopping down in one. "oh yeah, remember to record. as creepy as that sounds." he gave newt a thumbs up and a grin.

"idiot." newt rolled his eyes, getting his phone out. he started to record a video, before getting his wallet out.

"hi, what can i get for you today?"

"oh, i'll have an espresso and-" newt's voice got caught up in his throat as he looked at the worker. bloody hell newt, get your act together! he's not even that hot!

ah yes, and the sky is red.

the worker was very hot in newt's opinion.

"and...?" the worker smiled, letting out a small chuckle.

god, that was cute! ok, newt, think not gay.

"oh, sorry about that, my brain went dead. could i have a iced latte please?"

"in this weather? i mean sure, but that's a bit strange, blondie." he laughed, tapping into the work computer screen thing.

"excuse me, iced frappes in the rain are perfectly normal." newt huffed.

"beg to differ."

"oh shut up." he took this as an opportunity to ask the million dollar question.

"oh yeah, as strange as this sounds, i'd like to ask who decided to rickroll the entirety of the cafe, me and my friend feel rather offended."

the worker started laughing. "oh, that? that was me. you're welcome. i decide all the music around here, rick astley is actually a favourite of mine."

newt went red from embarrassment. "oh, really? how delightful, thanks for rickrolling us." he slitted his eyes at the other man, who gave a derpy smile back to him. he returned the smile, starting to laugh.

"alright, anyway, that'll be £4." (bro i actually did the maths if you go to a specific place and get an espresso and an iced latte it's 4 pounds i think be proud omg)

he handed him the money. "thank you. see you later!"

"bye, blondie!"

newt walked away with the drinks. when he sat down, he stopped recording on his phone.

"so?" minho raised an eyebrow.

"fuck help i'm so gay"

"wow! who knew that! newt, gay?! impossible! newt acts so shockingly straight and heterosexual!" he brought a hand to his mouth, exaggerating his fake shock.

"oh, come on. let me fanboy over one male please! you literally start running around the house over teresa." newt took a sip of his iced latte, making a disgusted face when he accidentally ate some ice. "ew, ice."

"well, can you blame me? she's so pretty! like, hello?? it's scary."

"right. okay. don't start talking about her now." he rolled his eyes, blowing a raspberry at minho who did one back. "anyway, that worker was so hot! help!" he spoke in a shout-whisper.

"what? the one who rickrolled everyone? if so, i gotta say, the personality is automatically hot, and i'm straight."

"yes!"

"well, did you get his number or his name? or both?" he laid back in the seat, quizzing newt.

"....no?" he groaned before mimicking minho's action and flopping back. "minho i'm an idiot arent i?"

"yes. yes, newtie, you really are."

"oh my god but he called me blondie!"

"blondie? jokes aside, that's actually cute."

"bloody hell!"

"alright, is that your gay panic over now?"

"no."

1001 words woo

i am tired i've been up since 4am because cramps decided to injure my poor mental and physical health and i am dying as my blood gets ripped out of my lining of my womb with such force

ok i'm fine

this is rather bad, the next chapter will be from thomas' POV, i think most of the story will be from thomas', who knows idk lets see how this turns out

ok bye