Did you miss me

Part 8: "The love letter"

     Bucky opens the door for me. The time is around 11:00p.m. It took a while to get back to Bucky's home through the snow. We walk in to see Winnifred looking back at old pictures of us when we were kids in the corner chair.

     Me and Bucky try to come in quietly so we don't wake Rebecca. As Bucky comes into the house he heads into the main room to get his mother upstairs before she falls asleep in her chair. While he walks upstairs with his mother he gives me a little smile. I give a side smile back.

     Meanwhile, I make a cup of tea while waiting for Bucky to come back down. All of a sudden someone taps me on the shoulder while I'm in the kitchen. "Maria," Rebecca coughs, "how can I help you Rebecca?" I ask. "Wa-water." She says, her voice cracking. "Of course," I grab a glass and fill it with room temperature water. Rebecca goes back up to her room. When I finish making my tea I turn around to see Bucky sitting at the table.

     Why did I never do it? Why did I never asked Maria to marry me or be with me? Maria and I would've had to communicate through letters. I watched my mother go through that. It was hard. She had to wait and wait for answers.

     If me and Maria had a life together and a family, I would've missed out on my kids lives. That isn't fair to Maria or the kids. That's the truth that's why I never took it that far. In fact that's why I never gave her the letter.

      "Hey Buck are you okay?" I waited for a response.
"I know you read the letter." He responds. "What letter?" I try to laugh through the lie. I read that letter with a pure look of shock on my face. "The love letter." He says. "Oh- that letter, listen Bucky it-" he cuts me off, "Maria have you ever felt that way before towards me?" I take a while to respond. I can hear the wind outside. Me and Bucky make eye contact for a while. "I... Yes!" I whispered yell.

     He gets up from his seat and slowly walks towards me. I have butterflies in my stomach. He comes really close I could feel the heat of his body on mine. He looked down at me. My heart was pounding. "Maria I never mailed the letter to you because I didn't want our relationship to have to be through letters. I would rather live a life with you, and have a family. I didn't want you to have to worry constantly about me while I was in the war-" I laugh, "Bucky I already worry about you constantly..." I say. "Maria I don't have much, but I want to ask if you still have any feelings for me?" He asks.

     I look directly into his eyes. "James Buchanan Barnes, it doesn't matter what you have, what matters is that you have a good heart." I say. "And..." he expects me to continue. "And yes... yes I still have feelings for you." Bucky smirks and happily says, "Yes! Yes! Yes! Merry Christmas to me!" He whispers. I laugh. He places his cold hands on my cheeks. "Can I?" He asks. "Yes Sargent you can!" I whisper.

      Right as he is about to go in, we hear Rebecca uncontrollably coughing and wheezing yelling for help. Me and Bucky both stop what we were doing and run upstairs.