Kharise is not a lover. The very thought of it is repulsive to her.
Mostly because she has had her heart broken in such a manner that seems irreparable.
Living in a world where her father shows her the littlest love known to mankind and her best fr...
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"It's hard to be living with memories The worst is just when they feel incomplete I didn't lose everything, just a piece of it My mind's in a million pieces..."
And just like that, I lose myself.
Slowly.
Steadily.
All my pain and hurt dissipates into a continuous stream of rhymes as I go on. It's all I can do not to breakdown. With this level of emotion pouring out of me, rapping my fucking heart out is the only way I've found to stay sane.
And for a split second, I feel okay. A peaceful abode where the only sound is my mind screaming at me. And then it stops. The screams cease. And, just like every euphoric feeling, I return to reality.
I pull down the headphones to my neck, closing my eyes while trying to suck all the emotion back in. The studio guy, Mr. What's-his-name, brings the tunes grinding steadily to a halt. "That was good." He finally says, leaning back in his chair.
I ignore him, glancing down at my watch. 7:25PM.
It's a good thing Ricky let me off work today, or else I would have been staggering home at midnight. My dad would have a fit, not that I care. I put the headphones on the stand in front of me and walk out of the booth, grabbing my backpack from a nearby seat.
"Hey look." I mentally groan in exasperation when Brandon, or whatever his name is, calls out. "I know it's none of my business-" he begins, picking up a flash drive and tossing it into a nearby drawer.
"-but you don't look okay. Something bugging you, kiddo?"
The use of that name causes my Uncle Jonas' letter to flashes through my mind.
You can't break down here. You can't break down now. Deep breaths. "Yeah, you're right." I adjust the strap on my bag, gradually resisting the urge to break something.
"It's none of your business. "
***
"What is your problem, Carlos? I'm sick of all this backward attitude of yours! You always think you're right but it gets really annoying at times because you don't listen!" My mom's yelling echoes across the street from our house and I begin to think twice about coming home tonight.
And then, of course, I hear my dad fire back. "Kharise is being stubborn and rebellious and you stand there and support our daughter's juvenile behaviour? "
Silence. The kind that always comes before all hell breaks lose in the Grey household. "Goodnight, Carl." I can tell that my mom has gone upstairs from the stomping sounds that follow.
I know I shouldn't have told my parents about my decision, but I did. I have nothing to lose anymore because nothing he would say could make me hurt worse than I was preventing myself from hurting.
