Love Looking For Words

25 UNDESERVING

Song for this chapter- Woman by Doja Cat.

A few dollars slide across the counter top just in front of me.

"For her drink. Keep the change."
My head darts up in surprise. Jay smiles lightly at the bartender's obvious gratitude. Then he turns to face me.

"Hello, Layla."
Jay.
Yes, that Jay.
As in, Jayden fucking Park.

"Why the fuck are you even here?"
I don't even try to hide the surprise in my voice but I am careful to ensure that the flusteredness doesn't peek through.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?
He rests his arms on the counter top, the corner of his lips lifting ever so slightly into a barely there smirk.

He turns back to the bartender to order a drink, and I can't help but check him out.

The first thing I notice is the tip of the rose tattoo on his arm, peaking through the sleeve of his shirt.
So, new tattoo.
Because till a year back, when I literally checked him out every day, he had no visible tattoos.

My gaze trails down his arms and torso and it takes everything in me not to reach over and run my had over the taut muscles of his abdomen showing through his almost see-through vest. His light blue button-up shirt does little to hide the beauty of his physique.

His silky brown hair, which is normally tied back, hangs lose and slightly shorter, framing his handsome facial features and making him look totally edible. The light dusting of facial hair on his sharp jawline makes him look mature in a way that is almost too sexy to be legal. He lifts his drink to his lips and I catch the silver glint of a lip ring. Well that's new too.

My face warms at the sight.

Then he gently tugs at the ring with his teeth and I almost moan.

Oh my fucking days. I'm losing my damn mind here.

Jayden Park got so much hotter than before and I didn't think that was even possible.

"- a little bit different, don't you think?"

"Huh?"
Just then, I realise that he has been saying something while I have been unashamedly eye-fucking him.
Crap.

He turns in his seat, facing me fully now. Then he leans back, smirking again.
"You don't seem to be doing much listening tonight, Layla."
He says, his voice panty-dropping deep, rich and smooth. Like caramel.
My gaze lingers to his silver gray eyes.

I don't know what's sexier.
The way my name rolls smoothly off his tongue or the suggestive look in his eyes as he says it.
Maybe I'm imagining shit, but he seems to be enjoying the effect he is having on me.
"Yes."
I manage to choke out, trying to cover up my most likely flushed face with my drink and-

Crap.

The glass is empty. Well fuck. I just can't win today, can I? I let out a sigh and lower the glass.
"Would you like another one?"
He leans forward in his seat, a little closer to me now.
"Um-"
Use your words, goddamnit! I mentally chastise myself.

"I'll get you one, you look like you need it."
The amused undertone in his voice makes me want to disappear into the ground. God, what is wrong with me?

He orders another drink, pays for it and passes it to me, his fingers slightly brushing mine, sending an impossible amount of shivers down my spine.

Jesus.

I take a sip, refocusing my mind on the taste of whiskey on my lips.
"Thanks."
I mumble, avoiding his silver gaze and looking down at my drink.

It doesn't help, as I'm suddenly very aware of his thigh that is now gently grazing mine. A short breath escapes my lips and I turn slightly to see his expression.
He sips on his drink, eyes forward, looking as innocent as ever.

Well, maybe the contact was unintentional. After all this place is packed and more people are casually strolling in. Being the beautiful Friday evening that it is.
How fortunate.

I take another sip while my thoughts begin to wander.

"I was asking about Kharise though."
Of course. How even more fortunate.
My gaze shifts to him at the mention of her name.

"Yeah, your ex-girlfriend. What about her?"
I take a few more sips, hoping the reminder would significantly shorten this conversation.

"Uh, not much actually. I just wanted to know how she's doing. She's been a bit far-fetched these days and she's barely around. I hardly see her in any classes."
He goes on, sounding slightly disturbed. And I inwardly groan.

"Really, I haven't noticed. "
I quip, voice dripping with sarcasm that I hope he doesn't detect.

Who am I kidding? Anyone would know that something is off with Kharise and I.

"Well, you are her best friend. Could you at least tell her to not be so hard on herself? Whatever she's working on, I'm sure it'll turn out great. I mean, she's one of the smartest and most talented people I've ever met. "
He finishes off with a smile that make me want to obliterate Kharise from the face of the earth.

Why does everyone have to be so hung up on her anyway?

"Tell her I said hi."
He adds, taking another sip.

Fucking shitballs.

I swear if I squeeze my glass a little harder I might crush it.
I heave a sigh, trying to calm down.

I'm not losing Jay again. I'm not standing to the side anymore. So I take a sip of my drink and turn to face him.
"Piece of advice. If you're still hung up on Kharise, I suggest you forget about her and move on with your life. She's with someone else and if you love her as much as you say you do, you wouldn't ruin that for her. Plus, have you ever thought that maybe the reason you don't see her is because she is plainly avoiding you?"

Jay's expression goes stoic and his grip on the glass visibly tightens.
I lean in a bit closer to him.
"You should move on, find someone else and be happy because I think you should deserve to be."

He downs the contents of his glass and drops it with a forceful clink on the counter. He slides a few dollars to the bartender.
"Good talk."
He mumbles to me before walking out without so much as a second glance in my direction.

It stings to see him still so hung up on Kharise.

I need to fix that.

Because as far as I'm concerned, Kharise is one hell of an undeserving bitch.

***