Before the World Got to Her

V. Angel of Mercy

TW: Homophobia, violence, conversation therapy, meal skipping (not disordered eating)

You woke up to a buzzing noise that quickly faded, realizing it was coming from the pain in your head. You blink a few times before you look over and what you see, makes your heart flutter. Nurse Ratched had her head down, crying as she held your hand. "N-Nurse Ratched?" She quickly brought her face up and wiped a tear, letting go of your hand. She quickly stood up and sniffled.

"You're awake." She stated quickly.

"What happened?" You asked weakly. "I don't remember anything. Where's Lily?" You don't know why you asked for Lily in the moment. You've become quite fond of the woman but not as fond as you were of Nurse Ratched.

"I'm sure Mrs. Cartwright is asleep, comfortably in her room." Nurse Ratched nodded. "Goodnight, y/n." As Nurse Ratched was about to leave, you reached out for her, accidentally brushing your hand on her behind. "Nurse Ratched wait-" She quickly turned around as you pulled away just as fast. She glared at you in the eyes with a look you were uncertain of.

"Could you...tell me your plan?" You stuttered nervously.

"I have no idea what your talking about." She scoffed. She turned around to leave but this time you grasped her hand. She quickly turned around once more, frightened.

"Oh but you do, Miss Ratched. You and Huck. You told me yourself." You sounded, quietly.

Nurse Ratched pulled her hand away quickly, making you flinch. "It's Nurse Ratched." She quipped. She looked as if she were to say something else but she simply nodded and left the room.

The memory of everything that happened all slowly came flooding back to your brain. You were afraid to face tomorrow. What lay ahead. The clock that resided on your wall read "1:30" Surely, Nurse Ratched would have gone home by now. Had she really stayed to be sure you were alright?

You tried falling back asleep but your head couldn't bare the feeling after today's events. You started to cry. Again. You missed your friends. You missed your family. You wanted to go home but considering the circumstances, that was impossible. The whole town probably thought of you as nothing but a sick, sinful little girl who needed to be cured. Just like everyone else. You cried to yourself, staining your pillows with tears.
Hours went by but the time that passed felt like nothing but an illusion.

You dragged yourself to your bathroom at around 5 am and looked in the mirror. You had bags under your eyes and you felt like throwing up. you already felt like giving up. This was never going to work out the way everyone wanted it to. You just wanted to get some sleep but your thoughts were pinning your eyes open. You lay back down and watched the wall as the room got lighter and lighter at the passing hours. Soon after, you were startled by a knock. Dolly opened the door and was surprised to see you awake.

"Morning, y/n!" She smiled.

"Morning." You mumbled. Dolly opened the curtains, letting the morning sun in. She patted her hands down by her sides and stared out the window for a moment until turning back to you.

"Nurse Bucket wishes to see you after breakfast. She told me to let you know." Dolly smiled nervously and left. You immediately felt anxiety punch you in the stomach. You look down and start breathing heavily. You drag yourself out of bed and get dressed, trying to ignore the unsteady feeling that sat in your stomach like a rock. You walked into the corridor until a hand pulled you aside. You almost tripped as the hand pulled you into a small room. You look up to see Nurse Ratched.

"Jesus! Nurse Ratched!" You panted.

"Y/n, listen to me." She said seriously. You seemed nervous as you looked into her eyes.
"After breakfast, Nurse Bucket is going to bring you to the hydrotherapy room." Your eyes went wide and you started breathing heavily. She quickly rested a hand on your shoulder. "Y/n, look at me. You're not going to have to go through that again. I won't let you or Mrs. Cartwright." You looked back into her eyes, still panting. "Huck and I tampered with the wires. I'm telling you so you wouldn't go into a full panic attack and have a repeat of yesterday. Understand?" You nodded nervously and she did back.