Behind The Scenes

Day 17, Confusion

A/N: sorry for the late update guys. I forgot I didn't upload day 17 yet and only just realized that after I finished day 18, so here are two chapters for you.

"Is this becoming a habit?" I stare up ahead at karma, who once again was waiting on the hill.

He shrugs "perhaps it already is" he smirks and chuckles a little.

I walk the rest of the way up to meet him where he stands. The feeling of standing next to him becoming second nature. We start walking along the makeshift trail going up the mountain.

"So" I start "what's up with you waiting here the past few days for me?"

A few moments pass before he speaks. "Well, I guess I've just been really enjoying being with you lately...and besides, you've been a bit down. I know you wont tell me why, but at the very least I can at least be here."

I'm not sure how to process that. I mean it's great that he cares about me, I feel my cheeks warm, but i also feel guilty for not telling him anything. His presence is nice and I'm glad he's being understanding. My thoughts swirl for a little bit before I decide on what to say. It's simple, but it's genuinely how I feel.

"Thanks, for being he-" I feel myself start to fall as I trip on yet another root.

I feel a strong pressure at my elbow and waist as karma awkwardly tries to stop me from falling.

"You seem to do this a lot." His smile is so warm when I look up at him.

"Yea yea." I feel my lips quirk up into an uninvited, but pleasant smile.

He helps me upright again and then trails his hand that's on my elbow down to my wrist. Ghosting my skin with his fingertips.

"Maybe if we hold hands it could prevent you from falling again."

I feel my cheeks heat up. "Y-Yea, maybe it could."

"So, can I hold your hand? You can say no if you want."

"Yea, I think holding hands would be alright."

The look in his eyes are so kind and soft with a hint of nervousness and seriousness. His fingers ghost the back of my hand and wrap around to interlock our fingers. His touch is so gentle, so warm. We look into eachothers eyes, a soft smile on his lips.

"Let's keep moving."

"Okay."

"So are you going to finish what you were going to say?"

"What?"

"You started with the word thank."

"You know what i was going to say."

"And why not say it again without tripping."

I glare at him, but he doesn't seem to want to give up. "Fine. Thanks for being here with me. It means a lot."

He runs his thumb over my hand "your welcome."

We continue walking, a comfortable silence accompanying us. As we walk. I can't help but glance at him from time to time. Occasionally we catch each other's eyes, so he must be doing the same.

I wonder how he feels about me. I mean, he has been getting closer lately and some of his actions, like now, can be quite romantic, but he seems to suggest that he's just helping me. We all know he loves helping people, and since I'm his friend, I'm not sure if he's going this far because he's comfortable with being my friend, or if he's wanting something more. Even so, I still can't bring him into my problems. I can't tell him something so...so.. ya know. Gosh, even if I want to tell him, to lean on him, I don't think I could tell him.

I feel a slight squeeze on my hand and look up. Karma gives me a soft smile, as if saying everything's going to be alright. I want things to be alright.

He breaths in "Remember, I'm here for you. If you need to talk, or just anything. If you need a shoulder, just let me know. Even if I need to beat someone up for you."

"Karma" I shake my head "that won't be needed" I feel my lip twitch up.

"Ah, but that idea seems appealing to you." He smirks.

I think about it for a moment "the violence doesn't, but I admit it would be nice to leave the situation, if only it were that simple."

He looks off in the direction of the school and his brows furrow slightly. "If only..."

"Hey karma, nagisa, good morning."

The sudden coldness to my hand and karma's greeting back leave me empty. I know he's probably trying to avoid a misunderstanding, but still, it feels like he just completely left me alone, just abandoned me, even if he is right here.

Kayano is standing next to a log, her bag by her side.

"What are you sitting out here for?" Karma's voice shifts in tone, all seriousness gone.

"Mm, well, I guess I just wanted to watch the wildlife for a minute."

I watch the two converse. I still can't help but wonder what he's thinking though. Last time there was a misunderstanding he played along with it. He does always play along with whatever's going on around him. Maybe he thinks if people see us alone together that they will think we're actually together.

What's his sexuality anyways, is he even into guys. Does he like me or is he just playing around like always. Would he ever like me?

A/N: Geeze I think this is the shortest chapter I've written for this fic. Although I knew from the beginning that some chapters would just be short. 

Anyways as always, comments, votes, and the like are welcomed.

till next time,

remember, roses are beautiful, but every rose has its thorns.

till then my precious roses.