Behind The Scenes

Day 5, Question

The next time i woke up it was a little over midnight. The feeling on my skin is still painful, every small movement i take rips the scabs apart and it stings again. Tears immediately fill my eyes. I sob for what seems like an eternity. Why would she do something so cruel. Am i not good enough. Why can't she just accept me for who and what i am. So what if i mess up time to time, i don't deserve this. I want to scream out so badly, but i can't. If i do i'll probably get beaten again. I don't want to be here anymore, i just want to disappear.

I pull the covers around me. I try to blend in with the heat as much as i can. Feel comfort within it, but the feeling is so empty and cold. Damit damit damit. I get up from my bed and make hurried steps to grab my blade from under my bed and make my way to the bathroom. Tears run down my eyes endlessly. I can't stand it anymore. Maybe it will be better to cut. If i just cave in then maybe it can be better. Maybe there is a real reason to do such a thing. Just go ahead and do it already.

I hold the knife to my wrist trembling grateley. I take in deep breath after deep breath trying to brace myself for what's to come. ...

...

...

...

...

I can't do it.

I drop the knife on the ground. What was i about to do? I take in a few calmed breaths. Standing there until all my nerves calm down. I rock back and furth to further calm myself. My breath and pulse finally calm and i pick up the knife. Walking to my room and putting it back under the bed. I crawl into the sheets and my mind drifts to sleep.

The next time I open my eyes It's already bright out, indicating that I've been asleep for a long time. What time is it though? I glance at my clock and read the numbers 9:15. I grumble as I know I should get up. I rub the sleep from my eyes and pull the sheets back over my head. A failed attempt at waking up.

Ding!

I threw the blankets off my head, the sound startling me out of my slumber. It was just the sound of a text message, why did that startle me so much.

All while laying in bed I grab my phone off the side table and take a look. Karma texted me.

To: nagisa shiota

From: karma akabane

Hey nagisa, you up yet?

To:karma akabane

From: nagisa shiota

Just woke up, how come?

Karma:

I wanted to talk to you. I wanted to apologize for before. The whole pressuring you to do that prank with your cousin and then what happened yesterday...

Nagisa:

...

First off, I wanna apologize to you, and second, are you free today? I would like to talk to you in person about this.

I should be able to, I had nothing planned for today. My mom's out of the house today, so I'm pretty much free.

Alright, so where and when?

Let's meet up at your place for now. We can figure out what we want to do then.

Okay, you can come over at anytime.

Okay, I'll be there in an hour or two then.

Okay, see yea.

Yea, I'll see you later.

I close my phone ending the chat. I sit up in my bed. The sudden feeling of my skin being ripped apart came to my back. I guess talking to karma distracted my mind and I forgot. I carefully climb out of my bed. Walking to the bathroom to get ready for the day. I start stripping down to take a shower, I could see all the bruises and dried blood on my body in the mirror. I grimace a little at the look. I step in and turn the nob, the hot liquid hits my skin and the cuts instantly start burning and stinging. I grind my teeth together, turning the temperature down to a bearable level. I stare at the redend water flowing down the drain. Once done I get out and dry myself off, excluding my back. I go through my usual routine of the morning.