Italian Angel

𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒

J A Y D E N

"I like her, she's cool, and different." Sophie admitted as soon as I entered her room. She sat on the bed, playing with the sheets. I didn't know why I had come up here, but I felt like I wasn't spending enough time with my sister lately, so some quality time was needed.

"You do?" I asked her and she nodded, now as I took a seat next to her, "She's not scared of you, like the other girls I met, and she doesn't treat me like a child." Sophie glared at me while she was saying so and I smiled, knowing what she meant, "But you still are a child."

This girl was 12, yet acting like some 18 year old teenager that had some kind of nightlife. "I know." My little sister admitted, but I knew how she was, so I changed the topic, "What did you girls talk about?" I hoped that Savannah wasn't some kind of bad influence, but with that girl, everything was possible. "Just how you were a teddy deep down, and not the big bad wolf you always acted like." Hearing those words hurt a little, as I knew, she was right, but how could you always be nice when you worked in the mafia? It wasn't possible to survive long with a nice characteristic.

I laid down, pulling my sister down next to me, "Why isn't she your girlfriend, she is much nicer than all the other girls you brought home." Yes, Savannah could be nice as I had seen today, but being together with her? We were both planning on killing each other, so being a couple wouldn't help at all. "Love is not that easy, Sophie." I wanted to be honest with her, as in the future I knew that she would get a partner, and it didn't matter what gender, Love was still hard.

"You know, when you meet somebody in life, sometimes you know when you love them, even if you only met five seconds ago, that can happen too. Or you learn to love each other, and that takes time." it was hard explaining a twelve year old what love was, and I tried picking the right words, and not giving her a wrong image of love, "But how do you know if you love somebody?" she asked, while she was nearly falling asleep.

"I don't think you ever really know. You get the signs, like butterflies that roam through your stomach every time when that person hugs you - metaphorically of course-, when that person makes you happy and let's you forget your worries every time you see them."

"And what happens when you see Savannah?" I didn't know what I felt the first time I had seen her, but what was I expected to feel? A pretty blond girl, wanting to know how to use graffiti spray cans. And the second time? "You know, Savannah and I aren't on the best terms. Especially because of what had happened between us. I wouldn't call that love."

"Why not? She seems to light up your day, just by entering your office. I saw your smile today, don't lie to me." I thought about her words. I wasn't used to smiling or being happy at all, it was fun with Savannah. Yes, a more brutal way of having fun, but with her, my day wasn't so boring as it used to be.

Sophie was cuddling, burying her face in my chest, "Was it the same with Mom and Dad?"

This topic wasn't easy for me, while Sophie never had met our mother, I had lived with her, the first five years of my life. I had told her stories about our mother, until they had begun to slip away, just like that. Her image, her smell, the way she acted, or how grateful she told me to be, for every single thing I had. I had soon forgotten everything about her, just a faint memory of her golden locks. Sophie reminded me every single day of our mother, even though she had never met her.

Maybe it was better like this though, maybe it was better that Sophie had never met our mother. I didn't think this because I was cruel, or didn't like her, but because I wouldn't have wanted to see her in pain, after she died. I didn't like to see my sister sad, sure, it belonged to life, but it still pained me. "Yes, yes it was." I gave a quick answer as I had noticed that she had fallen asleep, her breathing had slowed down and I stroked her hair while I stood up, leaving her bedroom.

I sighed as I closed the door, hoping that Sophie would never experienced the things that I had. I didn't know if she was strong enough, physically yes, but mentally? I know how I had been, and that was worse enough, especially for my father. But Sophie?

I was going to protect her, no matter what, from my father, from the cruel world we lived in, and maybe even from myself.