𝕀𝕟 𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕂𝕚𝕟𝕘'𝕤 𝕊𝕙𝕒𝕕𝕠𝕨 Tsukishima x Male Reader

Part 8: Pathetic

Pathetic. That word swirled through my mind on repeat, I couldn't get rid of it. I was just standing there, on the side of the road. Tobio had already left to walk home, and yet I was just frozen here. I couldn't think clearly, and I couldn't move either. That was until I felt a light tap on my shoulder and noticed that there was a certain orange haired boy standing next to me.

"Hey, are you okay, Y/N? I heard all of that stuff that Kageyama said to you, and you really don't seem like you're okay. I didn't think that Kageyama was actually like that, I thought it was just a one off thing that he said accidentally earlier. But after seeing that it's kind of obvious that this is a usual occurrence." Hinata looked really sad, he must be the type of kid who tried to see the best in people, and he was sad to know that someone was really this bad. 

"I-I- Sorry I just don't really know what to say to you right now, Hinata. J-just please don't tell anyone about this. I mean it's not like they'll believe you anyways, and it'll just create more trouble for the both of us. So please, just don't even bother..." I mumbled the last sentence, suddenly not being able to muster up the energy to talk anymore. So I turned around and walked away from him. 

Once I got home I didn't have enough energy to do anything at all. So I went to my room, changed into pajamas, and went to sleep for the night. 

The next morning I didn't talk to any of my family, but I could tell that Tobio was still pissed at me once he showed up to practice. I left my house as soon as I possibly could and got to school way too early, I didn't even eat breakfast or pack my own lunch, that's how desperate to get out of the house I was. That morning's volleyball practice was terrible, whenever Tobio had to get the ball to me at all he purposefully did a terrible job. Then after that he would make sure to make a quiet rude comment about how pathetic I was.

There it was again. That one word that just drove me insane. Pathetic.

After practice I had to suffer through the school day, and I paid no attention to any of my classes, I didn't have the energy to do that. Then during lunch, Tsukishima and Yamaguchi called me over to sit with them on the roof. I usually sat on the roof to eat by myself, but this time the two of them wanted to eat with me. I didn't say much while they ate, but Tsukishima offered me some of his food once he noticed that I didn't bring anything, Yamaguchi did the same as well. I tried to deny it, saying that the two of them had to eat and that I would be fine, but they insisted until I accepted. After I had eaten I felt a little bit better than I did before, but I still felt like the trash I was. I still felt pathetic.

Practice after school was a nightmare, Tobio was still extremely angry at me, and I could tell that the entire team was really tense because of the tension between Tobio and I. I felt really bad for all of this, since I blamed everything on myself. Besides that practice went similarly to how it went this morning. The longer the day went on, the more pathetic I felt. I couldn't help but allow that word to swirl around my mind throughout all the day, and the rest of the week as well. 

As the week went by it just got worse and worse. After school my parents started to yell at me more, they had figured out that Tobio got into trouble and they blamed it on me, as they always did. Just when I had thought that my injuries were starting to heal, I got some additional bruises and this time another 2 cuts on my face. I hated it at home, and it was only slightly better at school. Volleyball practice was terrible and I hated it whenever Tobio was there, but I didn't mind my other classes. I had no classes with Tobio, and the classes were fairly easy as well so I didn't need to pay much attention to the teachers. Not to mention that I had all of my classes with Tsukishima, who seemed to hate Tobio with a passion. Yamaguchi was there as well, but Tsukishima talked to me a lot more, while Yamaguchi just tagged along with wherever Tsukishima went. 

I enjoyed spending time with Tsukishima, it was a nice break from having to be with Tobio. Not to mention that Tsukishima was actually really entertaining, and we got along really well. Even though he was a bit of a salty jerk at times, he was never like that to me. Tsukishima was only ever nice to me, and I didn't feel like he pitied me. Tsukishima wasn't the type of person who pitied people, so I could tell that he was around me because he liked me, and not because he pitied me. Take that Tobio, looks like you, mom, and dad were all wrong about one thing, there is actually someone out there who likes me. 

Even with all of these good things that were going on, that word never left my head. No matter how distracted I got by anything, the moment where there was even a split second of silence, it was back and it wouldn't go away. Pathetic. That word haunted me and it made me so angry, so inexplicably angry. Even if it wasn't directed towards me or even if I just saw the word, I got so upset that it was almost hard to contain. 

The next 2 weeks went by and this just continued. It never got any better, and if anything it just got progressively worse. The tension between Tobio and I just worsened, but the volleyball team seemed to manage and move on from all of that. Everyone except for Tsukishima. Tsukishima seemed to hold the grudge just as much as I did, and he expressed it even more than I did. Tsukishima would often make sarcastic remarks towards Tobio slightly more than he did to others, and while most people might not have noticed it, I certainly did. In a way, I thought it was kind of nice that he was being mean to Tobio in my stead, because unlike me he wouldn't get in nearly as much trouble as I did, though from time to time he did get slightly scolded by Daichi, but he never cared about it. 

Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, and I managed to all become pretty good friends throughout the few weeks. It was nice to have friends, because I knew that they actually cared about me, unlike a lot of other people. I did go throughout all of the weeks without telling anyone anything about what Tobio and the rest of my family did to me, and whenever someone asked I dodged the question. Hinata was also really concerned for me, after all he did witness Tobio screaming at me, and not only on that night. Hinata saw Tobio hitting me or yelling at me while we walked home from practice on multiple occasions. Hinata never said anything though, and I tried my best to make sure that it stayed that way for as long as it could. After all, while Tobio would get in trouble, I would probably end up dead. And if my parents and Tobio weren't the ones who killed me, then I would be the one who caused my own demise. 

Word count:  1315