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Megan
I take the Mac n cheese out of the oven and finish up the chicken.
I hear Ámala exclaiming and yelling at the other people in the game with her.
I can't help but giggle to myself.
The chicken will take another couple of minutes to cook, so I quickly send some texts to some friends and group chats.
Ámala could spend DAYS in front of the tv playing games with others if she could. The last I intervened, was when she began to push three days of no eating, sleeping and going to the restroom. She's approaching a full 24 hours and I won't have it. I love that she's talking to her friends that she otherwise wouldn't see due to touring but these things get out of hand. I mean DAYS. Stuck to the living room tv with blankets and on a blow up mattress we have for visitors.
After a while the chicken is done and I set her plate up first.
"Baby, I made you sum."
"I cant pause right now, set it down please." She doesn't even look at me.
I shake my head. She won't pick it up for hours, I know it.
I do the scariest thing ever. I get up and grab the remote. I distance myself enough and get ready to throw it. Thankfully it doesn't have one of those light up buttons.
I tense up a bit and just do it instead of a scary ass countdown.
The tv shuts off and I throw the remote as far as I can. Ámala looks back almost immediately, she doesn't know where I threw it.
"Seriously, it's like I lost my girlfriend."
Amala's eyes look extra bloodshot from having her eyes open for so long.
"Eat sum and let's take a shower together. Some one on one time just fa tonight please."
Ámala nods and takes the headphones off. When she emerges from the blankets, I finally see that ugly 80s punk band t shirt and her plaid mens pants that she wears so well. She's also got cornrows in since she was wearing a wig earlier in the week for a music video.
"There you go." I smile wide.
She ain't showered in two days but still looks fine as fuckkkk.
She comes over to me with a slight pout.
"Eat, take a piss, run a lap on the treadmill, take a nap, something. I'm forreal worried about you."
Ámala just nods and comes closer.
She eats the fried chicken off the plate and looks into my eyes.
"C'mon sit down at the table."
She groans as she eats non stop.
"Imma get you a sprite and orange juice."
She likes that combo and her small smile lets me know that she's not too pissed with me.
I pour half of each into the cup and Ámala drinks. Should I bring it up now?
"Baby..."
"Hmm?" Ámala hums.
I can tell she's tired.
"I love you and I get worried."
Amala takes a sip, "Sorry I- I um..."
I let her talk a bit.
"My mental health has been flared up. My therapist is nearly fully booked with sessions and I don't wanna worry you at all even if that means I don't interact wi--" she stops mid-word and begins to cry.
I swoop in and hug her.
"Amy..." I feel my heart sink in empathy. "Baby, I'm here fa you, y'know that? Don't be afraid to tell me things. I love you through and through and I'd do any and everything for you."
"And I don't mean to do it, but I get lost in it because I'm not thinking about shitty things."
She begins to ugly cry and I let her cry it out.
"I don't know what to do, Megs."
"I'll help you out, don't worry. I'm here."
I pull away and kiss her cheek. She gets in a few more bites.
"What shitty thoughts, Luh?"
She wipes her face.
"I hate myself. My appearance, my voice my--"
I nearly zone out as she begins to basically list things off endlessly. She's THE perfect woman in the world to me. I can't stand seeing her fall apart like this.
I wipe her tears and move her face to look at me.
What can I do to prove to her that she's the most flawless, beautiful person in this world?
What do I do?
"Finish eating, and we'll shower right after."
_________
After our quiet relaxing shower together, I hold her head in my lap. The most electronic thing going on is light music in the background. Ámala likes frequency sounds sometimes and I found a positive energy one. I've been doing her skincare routine for her as she's in a light slumber.
I start off, "I love how raspy yo voice is."
Her eyes slightly open.
"I love your laugh." I close the tops of the containers and set them aside. "Y'know when you laugh in' real hard and leanin' over and start grabbin' on people? I love that."
She comes to consciousness and just stares up at me.
"These cheekbones, I love to touch all over 'em, they compliment your face very well. These lips... so soft. Yo body, Ámala, is so perfect. Reminds me of Mother Nature. Like yo curves are the mountains and hills... I love to explore them."
She begins to smile.
"I don't even know what to sa--"
"You don't gotta say anything." This is how I really feel about this woman. "I'm not done."
She sits up silently and gives me a strong hug.
"You can always come to me."
"I know and I will."
I can't help but want to continue my list.
"Your voice, that's something separate I wanted to get into because let me tell you..."
________
Something for y'all to read if y'all get bored at y'all's respective dinners.
