𝚆𝚎 𝚏𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚒𝚗 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝙾𝚌𝚝𝚘𝚋𝚎𝚛

1992

"Oh god, this was such a bad idea." I squeeze my eyes shut while I lean on the counter right above the sink.
My nerves are on edge and it feels like I'm going to throw up at any second.

My dress feels too tight and revealing, the silk clings too much to my skin and I want to get rid of it. I want to go home sit on the couch and watch a movie not having to worry how I look or what I say.

Fletcher Andrews what did I think? I knew he wasn't the same boy he was in middle school.
He became friendlier, taller and handsome.
But that was never something that mattered to me, I said yes to him because I knew Tommy was going with Jenna and I had enough of moping around wishing for things to have I couldn't have. Things that weren't mine to claim.

I needed to realize that Tommy was my best friend and he'd never be anything else.

Who would've known he would break up with Jenna? And now he's here with this beautiful girl that I could never compete with.

I turn the handle and let the cold water run over my hands before I put some on my neck to calm down.
I look up into the mirror to see myself while I can't even recognize the person in front of me.

Her eyes are big and shiny due to the amounts of alcohol I downed and her lips are painted in a seductive red color, complementing the light flush on her cheeks.

This isn't me.
I know it isn't and I don't know why I was so stupid to think I could be someone like this.

I don't know why I'm panicking so much, everything was just fine. Fletcher was a gentleman-surprisingly- he danced with me got me something to drink everything was alright.

But I couldn't stand the view of Tommy dancing with this other girl. Her hands wind around his neck, her lips close to his ear while his hand sat low on her back, their bodies touching in every way possible.

I was jealous. But not just jealous I was hurt. At first he gets mad because I didn't tell him about Fletcher and now he found some girl in this short time to be his date.

But what did I expect this was Tommy we were talking about. He's tall and handsome, a mystery to girls and under that dark layer he's sweet and gentle, protective and caring.

There's no girl who wouldn't fall for that.

I give myself a last look in the mirror before I take a deep breath and decide to get this evening over with and then it's over.

Graduation will come and I will leave for college there's no Fletcher, no Jenna, no other beautiful girl I have to worry about.

I grab the handle and leave the bathroom just to run straight into a hard chest.

I look up surprised to see who's gripping my waist securely just to see my best friend.

"Tommy what are you doing here?"

He looks down at me his eyelids lowered making my stomach flutter lightly.

"I saw you leaving and wanted to make sure you're alright."

"I am fine." I choke out trying to ignore that his hands are still on my waist. The thin material of the dress makes the warm skin of his hands feel like it's right on mine.

He tilts his head raising a brow daringly while his eyes wander over every inch of my face.

"You're not. What's wrong?" The harsh tone in his voice is replaced by softness as he gently tucks a strand behind my hair.

"Nothing. I swear Tommy I'm fine." I say while his thumb grazes my cheek lightly making my breathing double up and cheeks flush.

It's actually embarrassing how he can make me feel with just the lightest touch.

He strokes my cheek softly and I can't help but close my eyes and take a deep breath while I push my cheek into his touch.
He pulls me closer making the fresh scent of oranges and cinnamon waft around me.

"It's just tonight Mila, in a few weeks we're off to college and nothing matters anymore. School won't matter, the people won't matter and if you don't want to, Fletcher won't matter." His voice turns into a whisper laced with a sweet promise.

I fist the material of his shirt at his torso allowing myself to let my face fall against his chest. The heavy thump of his heart calms me down and usually this was normal for us.

We touched, we hugged but I wish he knew this was so much more for me. That with every whisper, every touch he makes my heart light up in a thousand colors.

His hands wander over the small of my back stroking me gently while he places his cheek on top of my head.

I wish we could just stand here in the middle of the hall forever, pretending that there's no one but us in the world.

It gnaws at the edge of my conscience telling me to commit. To tell him the truth.

"Tommy?" I ask hesitantly and get a deep murmur as an answer.

I leave my eyes closed while I take in his scent, my hands getting clammy with the mission I have set in my mind.

This is the point. The point where the scale tips one way or another. Either he's going to reciprocate my feelings and it was all unnecessary to keep a secret of what I feel for him.

Or he thinks I'm crazy and tells me he could never think of me that way, that it ruins our friendship and I'll never see him again.

"You're scared to tell me. You should never be scared to tell me anything." He says while he moves a bit back looking me in the face.

"I'm scared how you'll react." I admit staring into his green eyes that shimmer down at me.

"Why? I could never be angry at you ever."

"It's not about you being angry, I think you'll not want to be around me if I tell you." I say sheepishly my eyes flying down to his rosy lips for a second before I look back into his eyes.

He catches the small movement immediately and tilts his head.
One hand places itself on my cheek stroking it lightly again while his lips turn into a crooked smile.

"God Emilia, how could I ever not want to be around you? Do you even see yourself? Do you know how I feel about you?" His words make me swallow lightly hope sparking up in my chest.

I shake my head lightly indicating that I don't know what he's talking about. Maybe I do, deep down but I want him to say it. So I can be sure.

He smiles at me softly and looks like I'm the one who's foolish.

"It doesn't matter what you do or say I'm devoted to you, from the moment I picked up that Walkman in fifth grade. You're the only one I've ever seen and ever will see. I'm yours." He says and without a second to let me consider his words his lips are on mine.

They taste me gently and smooth and I get on my tip toes grasping his shirt harder in my hands while my heart practically jumps out of my chest.

He tastes like sweet honey when he moves his lips against mine and I sigh softly at the taste making him slide his tongue against mine curiously, giving me time to process what he's doing and decide if I want more.

I press my chest against his reciprocating the kiss with every feeling I ever had for him and a low groan moves up his throat vibrating against my lips while I completely loose myself in him.

My brain gets all foggy and when he slowly moves his lips away from mine I let out a small sound of disagreement.

A small smirk sits on his lips while his hands place themselves on my cheeks.

"So greedy." He murmurs before he presses a small peck on my lips.

"You can't even imagine how long I wanted to do this."