Buddie One Shots

i wish that you could hear me (when i talk to myself)

As always, this has not been beta read so please be patient. This is my first song fic and can I just say, it was SO FUN to write?!!!

Based on the song Pancakes For Dinner by Lizzy McAlpine. I did play with the lyrics just a little to help them flow better but nothing major.

I love you for reading <3<3 let me know what you think!!
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Being in love was supposed to be the best feeling in the world. It had been, for a while, but lately in place of the stomach full of happy anxious butterflies there was a knot of dread. Instead of light-headedness from a smile well earned there was an ever growing sense of impending doom.

It wasn't that he didn't experience all of these amazing feelings anymore, he did, just with the wrong person.

He still got sweaty palms and a racing heartbeat. His days began and ended with the sound of that one special laugh. He could still see his entire world encased in a set of sparkling eyes. He never got that addictive feeling of blissful panic when Taylor touched him, kissed him. No, he only felt that feeling when Eddie's hand, shoulder, or knee brushed his.

His heart didn't stop in anticipation when she entered a room. His knees didn't threaten to give out when her breath ghosted over the back of his neck. He didn't spend long lonely nights swearing to himself and any God that might have been listening that he would do anything just to have her in his bed. She was never the first thing he thought about in the morning or the last thing he thought about at night. That was always his best friend.

It made him sick. He hated the thought that he may be hurting Taylor. She deserved to be the center of someone's entire universe. He wanted so badly to be able to love her the way she was meant to be loved - blindly, all consumingly, without regard to sense or logic - the way he loved Eddie. He just didn't know how to love her that way and it wasn't fair to either of them.

That's why he was taking her on this romantic weekend getaway, one last shot at showing her just how much he wished he could love her, before ending their relationship. It was what she deserved, to be spoiled and showered in affection. He just hoped someday soon she would find someone that didn't have to pretend.

The apartment was far too quiet for the middle of a Saturday morning. The sun was shining and the distant sound of traffic floated up from the streets, but other than that, all Buck could hear was his own heartbeat. It drove him crazy. He hated the sound of his heart beating, of his lungs expanding and contracting with breath, the sound of himself swallowing excess spit was enough to make him scream. That's one of the many reasons he loved the Diaz household, even on the most relaxed of days there was never silence.

Fighting the urge to well, freak out, Buck pulled out his phone and shuffled his favorite Spotify playlist. The first few notes spilled through the surround sound and Buck breathed a sigh of relief. "Much better." Tossing his phone onto the bed he went back to packing the things he would need for the weekend. Realistically, he knew he was over packing. He didn't need four different outfits for three different but equally unlikely events that he was imagine could happen. Especially since most of what they did that weekend probably wouldn't require clothes at all. He was glad no one was around to see the shudder he failed to hide at the thought. He was nervous and when he was nervous he over compensated.

Buck abandoned his attempts to stuff his second button down and fifth pair of jeans into his backpack when he remembered he had borrowed a duffel from Eddie. His long legs had him down the stairs and into the kitchen faster than necessary (something else he hated, it was almost impossible for him to move slowly) where he found the bag next to the fruit bowl.