OC Ratings | 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐫 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐬

Bianca [Violetheart]

This OC belongs to a friend of Miskapup

Name┃ Bianca/Violetheart

3.5/5 I rather like the sound of Bianca-- though I would say that it is an Italian name that means 'white,' so it would better fit a snowy-furred cat.

As far as Violetheart goes, I, again, really like the sound of it! I do wonder where it came from, however. I can see where she got the suffix -heart, yet I can't quite see why she was given the prefix Violet-

If you do give some reasoning for it, though, I believe it could work well!

Gender┃ she-cat

Rank┃ warrior

Age┃ 58 moons

All right! She's (in human terms) about 36 - 37.

Clan┃ ShadowClan

Awesome! I love seeing ShadowClan, especially when it's not portrayed as evil.

Appearance┃ Black and white with yellow eyes

Seems very nice! A lovely colouration, yet one very very scarcely used. (Be wary of drawing too many parallels with Violetshine.) 

Is she tuxedo, or of some spotted variety? My girl, Tibbs, is tuxedo, and this would be one of the first I've seen in this book (out of 80 now... gracious) if Violet is!

Personality┃ Violetheart is timid, helpful and sometimes talkative. She's also curious and adventurous. Her personality can be seen as the opposite of her Clan stereotypes, and she tries to act tough to prove to the others that she truly is loyal to ShadowClan. She becomes bored easily, so she likes to get many jobs to keep herself busy. She likes to be with younger cats, like kits for example, because they are active, curious and adventurous like her, or with cats who have those personality traits.

Very nice, and I love seeing her defy stereotypes.  I do have a few questions and critiques, here, though.

I might take out the timid bit; maybe you could add that she's shy around outsiders, though! It seems out of place among her other traits.

She also may need a few more flaws. Here are some ideas!

-- A bit absent-minded & aimless.

-- Gullible.

-- Naïve & overemotional

-- Impatient

Backstory┃ Bianca was born in a farm with her brother, Barney. Their mother was a dark grey tabby she-cat kittypet named Winnie. Then one day, it was time for them to be adopted. Bianca was the first one to go, and she never saw her brother or mother after that. For many months, she lived a normal kittypet life, until a strange, new cat was brought by the twolegs into the house. He introduced himself as Flarepaw, an apprentice from ShadowClan. He told that some twolegs captured him when he was near the thunderpath. After few months, Flarepaw was about to escape back to his Clan. Out of curiosity, Bianca asked if she could come too, and ran away with Flarepaw.

This seems pretty good! I'd imagine after a few moons with just each other's company they'd become great friends.

Since ShadowClan is initially hostile, perhaps Flarepaw should be too. Maybe he's hesitant to talk to her at first or is even cold and aggressive.

The cats in ShadowClan were surprised by the two cats, when they entered in the camp. Well, they only came to greet Flarepaw, and avoided Bianca with glares and glances. The leader of ShadowClan gave Bianca a chance to prove her loyalty to ShadowClan for 6 moons. She passed, and became Violetheart. She doesn't have real friends yet, but she is popular in the nursery, since she spends a lot of time with the kits.

Okay! This seems like a good start. I also love that she loves spending time with kits, she seems very sweet; It says a lot about her personality.

Family┃ 

Mother - Winnie - Dark gray tabby she-cat with amber eyes. 

Very cute! I love seeing amber eyes. I can't really see much of her in her daughter, though.

Brother - Barney - Long-furred, dark grey and white tabby tom with yellow eyes.

All right.

 Father- Unknown (At least to Violetheart and Barney)

Okay! He would need some white spotting, yellow eyes, and a dark colouration for his kittens to be possible.

Overall, I think that Bianca/Violetheart is a very good character! I like a lot about her personality (though she may need a few more flaws!) and her story seems like a very good start. If you do write this, I would love to read it. Best of luck!

Thank you so much for your submission!