Distance (A Sam Woolf Fanfiction)

Chapter 30: Filling in the Dots

"How's she doing?" Alex asks concerned over the phone.

"She's hanging in there. She made it through the night....so I guess that's good." I yawn as I finish speaking, releasing my exhaustion.

"Did you sleep at all last night?" He questions. I can tell from the sound of his voice he already knows the answer. "Sam, you gotta sleep. Staying awake isn't going to help her."

I nod at his words. He's completely right, but I'm afraid that if I fall asleep, even for a little bit, that she'll wake up briefly and I'll miss her. I can't risk that.

"Idol isn't the same without you, dude. It sorta sucks." He laughs a little trying to lighten my mood.

I should lie and tell him how much I miss the show and the lifestyle, but that's exactly what it would be, a lie. I don't blame the show for everything that's happened to me, but I blame myself for what I've become because of it. I turned into someone I hate due to the show. So no, I don't miss it at all, I just miss my friends.

"I miss you too, bro." I try and sound cheerful but it fails epically.

"I gotta go, were rehearsing soon, but I'll call you for an update as soon as I get a chance." He tells me halfheartedly.

"Alright, I'll talk to you later then."

"Hang in there buddy, shes strong, she gunna pull through." And with those final, calming words, he hangs up the phone.

Taking in the scene before me, my eyes focus on Lil, still hooked up to a ventilator. The light sounds of the machine beeping fill the empty room. Devinn is curled up in the chair by the wall, and Max is sleeping on a cot on the other side of the room. Neither of them wanted to leave me alone last night, but I also know that both of them feel guilty for what's happened. We all do, especially me.

"Sam," Someone faintly whispers behind me. I turn to face Lou whose head pokes into the room from behind the door. "Can I talk to you for a sec?" His eyes look droopy and tired. I can tell he didn't sleep well last night either. I can only imagine how dead I look this morning.

He gestures for me to follow him into the hallway and then closes the door gently. Peering over at Lil, I hesitate on wether or not to leave the room. I should only be gone a few minutes, I reason with myself. I should probably get up and stretch anyways. I press her cold hand against my lips before slowly letting it fall from mine. "I'll be right back" I whisper to her quietly in hopes that she can even hear my voice.

"What's going on?" I ask suspiciously once the door is closed behind me. The secret they're keeping from me clings in the air with fear. Did something happen last night after they left?

"Two things," Skylar speaks, "Do you want the good news? Or the bad news?" The look on his face speaks volumes as to how awful the bad news is and as desperate as I am to know it, I want to avoid it for as long as I can.

"Good news first."

"Ok, well, Sky and I were on our way here and had to stop at school for something.While we were there, a group of kids told us about the benefit concert they're holding in Lil's honor two nights from tonight. I think we should all go, you know, as a thank you." Lou rambles and I feel the anger bundling up inside me. a part of me wonders if this concert has anything to do with lil, or if it's just a ploy to get me to preform.

"I'm not performing, it's not happening. I'll go to this thing for Lil, but I'm not singing." I mutter back.

Skylar places a hand on my shoulder, accompanied with a remorseful smile. "No one is expecting you too, buddy."

"Buddy.....Buddy? Oh my god where's Buddy?" I nearly shout with panic filling my mind. Lil was taking care of him and now he's probably in her house, hungry.

"Relax, we picked him up last night, he's at you're house currently." Relief floods through my body as the news of his safety calms me slightly. I don't know what I would do if he wasn't alright.

"Ok, so what's the bad news?"

"You might want to sit down for this," Sky gestures to a wooden chair near the reception desk. The fear and anticipation build in my stomach and the nerves cause a ringing in my ears. What could possibly be so horrible?

"Its Josh, he's gone."