Distance (A Sam Woolf Fanfiction)

Chapter 24: Twist

The sunlight seemed to be burning it's way through the window as I sat in 9th period Calculus pretending to be listening to Mr. Hannison.

It had been a week since he left and while my mood had improved, the deep ache in my chest hasn't subsided even briefly. I needed him more than he knew.

Finally, the bell rang. I rushed to meet Max outside my locker, pushing past a few people in the hallway.

I hated coming back here. After me and Sam broke up, people gave me odd, pitiful looks in the hallways, but ever since my Mom died they tend to look at my like I'm totally shattered.

It still feels odd saying it outloud.
My mother is dead.

I think the hardest part of it all has been living alone. Since I'm 18, I can, but I don't really like it. Sam's grandparents offered to help me sell the house and let me live with them but I couldn't accept. I couldn't bare to sell my home. Plus, I think it would be weird living with Sam.

Sam.

I couldn't stop thinking about him no matter how hard I tried. Somehow everything always came back to him.

"Hey! Lil!" Slightly startled at the sound of my own name, I turn to face a flushed Josh. He looks as almost he's been running after me.

"Hey! What's up?" I ask in the most polite tone I can manage. After all, this is Josh.

"I was um.....wondering if you like maybe wanted to hang out Thursday night? Around like 9ish?"

I'm taken aback slightly by his offer. I know I said Id call him, but I was just being cordial. Scanning my mental calendar, I conclude that the only thing I had planned for Thursday was to watch idol results.

"Yea, I'd love too!" I answer him happily. "Come by my place!" Why should I waste a night watching Sam on tv, when I could have actual plans. It sounds horrible, but I just can't trust him. I miss him terribly and watching him on tv only makes it worse.

We make small talk, as we walk down the hall, receiving bewildered looks from other students. In terms of Bradenton High, our relationship and its falling out was very public. If I were them, I'd be just as confused as to why we were even speaking to each other.

Finally, we reach my locker and I watch as Max's bright smile turns into a harsh line. I know he's completely against me talking to Josh, but I wasn't.

Being with Josh is familiar. Sam always said I deserved so much more than Josh could give me, but maybe I don't. I tried that with Sam and it only ended badly. I love Sam, I really do but at the end of the day, I firmly believe I poisoned him. I ruined Sam. I turned him into a liar. My problems and my past invaded his brain and made him someone I know he isn't. I blame myself for his mistake. The Sam before us wouldn't have done that. I changed him.

So maybe, I do deserve someone like Josh. It's familiar and I know what I'm getting myself into. I can't ruin him because he already is. As much as I love Sam, I need him to stay away from me before I destroy him.

Max and Josh eye each other up before Josh politely excuses himself. "I still don't trust him." Max sneers as we exit the building.

"Neither do I" I mumble under my breath.

SAMS POV

I've recently come into the habit of staring at my phone, whilst fighting as internal battle on wether or not to call her.

I'm genuinely worried about her. She just lost her mom and she's going through a lot. Graduation is rapidly approaching and as far as I know she still hasn't figured out where she's going next fall.