Distance (A Sam Woolf Fanfiction)

Chapter 29: Accusations and Prayer

Practically in a run, Max, Dev and I make our way back to the waiting area. There, we find Lil's surgeon patiently chatting with Lou and Sky.

"Can we see her?" I asks slightly out of breath. I know I should be asking more important questions, but all I can think about is being next to her.

"You should be able to see her shortly, but first, which one of you is Sam?" He asks politely. How would he know me? Is she awake? Did she ask for me? I burry all my questions in my head before speaking. "That would be me."

"Of course," he chuckles slightly before continuing. "As you're well aware, Liliana has no legal guardian or parents , so before her mother passed away she was told to pick a new emergency contact, someone who given the circumstances would be able to make life or death decisions for her.

I have a funny feeling where this is going and I feel my stomach lurch forward. "She chose you, so you're in charge here." I feel like I'm going to be sick. How could she possibly think I was cut out for this? I could barely handle the waiting while she was in surgery, let alone having to make those kind of choices.

"Now before I let you in there, I want you to know what you're about to see." The doctor cautions me and my friends as we stand out side the door to Lil's recovery room.

"She's lost a tremendous amount of blood. While operating, we found an internal bleed as we has perviously anticipated, but we didn't anticipate for the three broken ribs. One of them punctured her lung, which we repaired. However, we had to remove her spleen to regulate some bleeding. Other then that she had some minor broken bones. She may have sustained a brain injury but we won't be able to tell till she wakes up." He pauses briefly before speaking again.

"I'm not going to sugar coat this for you Sam. If she makes it through the night, it will be a miracle. You need to prepare yourself."

My heads spinning out of control. I knew that she was in bad shape but I never expected this much damage. "All this from a car accident?" I breath out in disbelief. As if on perfect timing, two police officers appear from behind the doctor.

"Well, actually, we do have probable cause to believe that at least one of the broken ribs occurred at an earlier time, perhaps 45 minutes to a half hour early. We also found traces of a sedative in her system." They eye us cautiously.

"He drugged her? He fucking drugged her?" I yell out angrily.

"He?" The female detective asks questioningly.

"Josh, fucking Josh Henderson." I yell again.

"Mr. Woolf that's an extremely serious accusation." She cautions me again.

"It's not an accusation," Max interrupts hastily," It's him. He's been abusing her for years. He's manipulated and obsessive. It has to be him who did this." Lou, Skylar and Devinn's faces contort in confusion. They never knew and it's horrible that they had to find out like this.

"All right, well if you're sure it could be him, well pick him up for questioning." She nods slightly as she speaks the last few words. "I'm Detective Benson, that's my partner Detective Amaro, well be in touch." And with that, they both go walking down the hall and out of sight.

"You can go in now if you'd like." A short nurse gestures to the door as I stand there, looking at it totally lost. The idea of opening that door and possibly seeing someone I don't even recognize terrifies me. I don't want to witness the destruction I've created. But despite everything that's cautioning me on the inside, I turn the handle on the door and hesitantly walk inside.

Nothing in this world could have prepared me for this, seeing her like this. I stop dead in my tracks as the tears begin to well in my eyes. I feel like my throats closing in, it's feels like I'm choking yet somehow still breathing.

"If she makes it through the night, it will be a miracle." The words of the doctor echo through my brain.

"Sam, you ok?" Devinn asks from behind me. I nod slowly to reassure her, but I'm not sure I'm quite telling the truth. How could I be ok when the girl I love is holding on by a thread. There isn't even a word to explain the emotion I'm feeling. Hatred for Josh, complete devastation for Lil, guilt, all rolled into one.

"Well give you some time alone with her." She speaks softly, practically pushing the others out of the room.
Cautiously, I take a seat in the chair next to her bed.

Her lung was punctured by one of the several broken ribs.
Her body seemingly mangled.
Yet somehow, she was still beautiful as she layed before me, hooked up to a ventalator.
The machine breathed for her, through a giant tube that covered her mouth.
I couldn't even kiss her.
So instead, I held her hand, like I did the night Josh hit her, like I did the night she found her mom, like I did before I left her for LA and just like I attempted to do that day at the stream.
I held her hand and I prayed for a miracle.

With both of my hands gently gripping one of hers, I lay my head on top of our hands and let the tears roll down my face.

"I'm sorry," I cry into the sheets, "I'm so sorry."

Once I've basically cleared all the liquid I have in my body and I'm done being weak, I lift my head up and continue to hold onto her hand. Gently, I reach up and brush back a piece of hair behind her ear. There's a small cut just before her ear and a cleaned gash in her hairline, but they don't take away from her face.

"I practiced what I was gunna say to you the whole flight here." I tell her. I kept mumbling to myself and everyone was looking at my like I was insane. You should've heard it. It was pretty convincing." My voice quivers slightly and I know what's coming next.

"But I get here and I see you laying there fighting for your life and I forgot everything I was going to say. the only thing I can think is I love you." And suddenly, the tears that I thought were gone are back.

"I love you and I need you to keep fighting. Lil, I can't loose you. Please." I sniffle back my tears,"Open your eyes and tell me how much of an idiot I am for crying." She lays there so still and I being to wonder if she can even hear me. Something inside me tells me she does.

Suddenly, a knock on the door sounds and Devinn enters the room.

"Here, I brought you some new clothes and this." She hands me a set of clothes and props my guitar case against the bed. It hits me then that I've been in her room for awhile if Dev had the time to go get these.

"Thanks," I offer her a small smile, "But why did you bring the guitar?"

"I don't know," She shrugs, "Somehow you always seem to figure out what to do when you're playing it." She returns my meek smile before exiting.

I release my hands from hers to remove my taylor guitar from it's case. The familiarly of it's weight comforts me as I stare at her state with guilt clouding me. Before long, I find myself strumming absentmindedly.

"Well I can't sleep, there's a hole around us that's now getting deep. And I can't stay up if you're not with me, and it all goes on...." I sing softly. A part of me hopes that she'll open her eyes right then and there. A part of me hopes that she bust through the door and that she'll tell me this is some sick joke. But I know she won't.

I stop singing, and let the faint beeping of her machines set in.