My Life with Amnesia

Chapter 9

Linda explained everything to me. How she met me, how our lives in high school started, why I left, and why Linda was searching for me. I didn't get my memories back from this explanation, but it did explain a lot.

Here is a basic version of the story.

In junior high school, I fell in love with a girl a friend introduced to me to. We started dating. The school we attended eventually announced it's shut down and we were separated. Linda was one of the girl's friends and happened to live relatively close to where I lived at the time. She delivered our letters to one another by running from her house to mine. The run would take twenty minutes. After that, she'd run back and deliver the letter to the girl at their junior high. The relationship between the girl and I ended when Linda caught her cheating on me. I was heartbroken and began to act moody.

When high school began, I met Linda at the high school I was attending. We became instant friends. After several months, I fell in love and admitted these feelings to her. She said she appreciated those feelings but never said if she liked me back. Time passed and I asked her to four dances every year. Each time, she was too busy to go. Or so she said. When senior year arrived, a paper from the government was mailed to me. My dual citizenship was expiring two weeks from then. Depression hit hard. I apparently became extremely moody, started failing classes, and gave no effort in races. The day finally came and I made my decision. Despite everyone's plea to choose American citizenship, I went Japanese.

At the airport, I said goodbye to everyone. My family, my team, my friends, and Linda. But there was something different about my goodbye to Linda. I walked her away from the group and revealed that I had found a drug that gave the user amnesia. I told her that I loved her and hugged her before boarding the plane. Linda snuck aboard and sat two rows behind me. She watched me set the notebook on the table, set up the replies on Virtual talk, and take the pills.

I sat there, trying to comprehend this farfetched tale. It was impossible.

"Why would I want amnesia!?" I asked.

Linda teared up. "You told me, 'I don't want to bear this heart anymore. I loved you for four years and haven't earned your heart. I knew it wouldn't work out so I just let myself die inside with every day. Don't feel bad. It was my fault for falling for you. This heart will vanish and I won't have to suffer with these memories I made here in America."

I felt a tear roll down my face. "I... said that...?"

Linda stood up. "Don't blame yourself. You were scared."

I turned away from her. "I did this to myself..."

"Dev..."

I clenched my fist and ran away, away from the conversation, away from the hotel room, away from the building, and away from Linda. I kept running, running, running, desperately trying to run from something that couldn't be avoided: my past.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I sat alone in the park, the darkness of the light surrounding the lights from the street lamps that lit up the park. I was wrecking my mind trying to remember everything Linda described to me. The girl, the high school, the running team, the love I had for Linda, the depression of having to choose my citizenship, all of it just out of reach.

Linda walked into the park and sat down beside me on the wooden bench. "Are you okay?"

"I can't remember any of it," I said to her. "None of it comes back to me."

"What about that dream you had?"

"I can't remember the details anymore. All I know is that the dream was me saying goodbye to everyone. I can't see their faces, what they wore, or even the gate number. Tell me, did I really hate my life so much that I just gave it up?"

Linda seemed to hesitate. "I'll be honest with you, I didn't know you were hurting inside. You came to lunch everyday with a smile on your face and always talked as if everything was normal. Everyone thought you were living life the way you wanted to."

I hung my head. "Why didn't I say anything or do you not know?"

"Everyone that knows you describes you as a selfless person who never thinks about his problems before another person's problems. You wouldn't talk about your problems unless everyone else was alright."

I stared at the sand pit just a few feet away. I could see the footprints of the children who had played earlier that day. "I gave myself amnesia... I don't believe it."

Linda wrapped her arms around me and gently pulled me in for a hug. "I know you're scared and don't understand what is going on, but I love you. I loved you before your amnesia and I love who you have become."

I felt my heart pick up speed. "I don't even know what to think of you anymore." I pulled out of her embrace. "You pretended not to know me and never considered how I felt not knowing who I was."

"Think about it. If a stranger came up to you and started trying to convince you they were your friend from a previous time, wouldn't that person freak you out?"

I paused. "I..."

"I didn't want to scare you off so I stayed quiet." Linda started sniffling and a steady amount of tears rolled down her face. "I didn't want you to run away again . I really want you back and I want to be with you but if you're uncomfortable not knowing who you are, then let me help you."

"How can you help me? How can anyone help me? Amnesia isn't something you can fix with some drugs!"

Linda wiped one of her eyes. "What if I took you back to America?"

"America?"

"Yeah. I could take you back to see your friends and family. Maybe seeing them will bring your memories back?"

I thought it over for a few minutes before saying, "Let's give it a try..."