What is love

Chapter 58 - Father in law's visit

Ansel Renaldy

I watch all my families in the room, they visit me almost everyday. Especially my dad and his wife, but I don't know why I can't see myself recovering from the gunshot wound. I feel empty and pathetic ever since I got shotted. I was on my way to the airport to go to New York to meet her. But then the incident happened and now I ended up in a hospital, surrounded by my family.

She even came home just because I got shotted, I felt her lips on my forehead when I got out of the manor surgery. Her kiss is the thing that made me awake, thought it'll be easy to face her after what happened between us. But all I can see is sadness and disappointment in her face. Looking at her sleeping peacefully that night made me realize that I don't deserve her, how can a man like me deserve her I shouldn't be ashamed of what I did to her. She shouldn't be here, she should've not come home.

I can't look into her eyes, I know I'll find my weakness in her. I shouldn't feel like this, I don't deserve her. She should be happy to pursue her dream in New York and life should continue just like the way it is.

She came back in the morning to make sure that I'm alright, she even helped me to eat but I refused because I can do it on my own. I took the spoon from her and not dare enough to even look into her eyes, the thought of her crying at the airport still haunts me. I hurt her so bad she even cried, I don't even know what I want.

~

"I'm done," I said.

"You have to eat more," she said, looking at me with disappointed eyes.

"Stop telling me what to do Sabrina,"

"Ansel," she sighs.

"Just stop," I said.

"No, listen to me," she suddenly said.

"I'm sorry if you don't want me to be here,"

"I know it's not the perfect time to say this but,"

"I love you," she suddenly said, which makes me turn around to look at her.

"I love you, Ansel," she repeated.

"I fell so hard for you, I'm scared to loose you," she said.

"I'm sorry if I did something wrong to you,

"Now it sucks to feel unwanted,"

"One day you want me the next day you don't," she said then I stay in silent, looking down at the blanket. Thinking about the thing that I can't open up to her,

I don't deserve her, really.

"If you don't want me to be here, I want you to look at me and say it," she said.

"Then you'll never see me again,"she said then I stay in silent,

Seeing her like this is killing me but I know she won't be happy if she stays longer with me. The look in her eyes when she mentioned about new york, andrew and everything sounds like a perfect place for her, I know that my unstable mental state is no good for her, I better let her go. I think it is best for her to leave, I know that I'll turn into a monster in anytime.

A tear fell from her eyes as she looks away, I can't stand looking at her like this so I tried to look away.

"Okay, I think it's clear enough for me," she said with a shaky voice.

"I'll sign the divorce paper, and when you go home you won't see any of my stuff at your apartment," She said.

I watch her leave then just a few second later Damien got into the room then slap me real hard. I feel like my soul left me for a moment when he slapped me.