My Mistake ⌲ River Phoenix

5; for the wind through

Before I knew it, the show was over and the crowd had dissipated into the frigid cold night. I had finally found a seat that was placed right next to an emerald-painted window pane that looked much like the one in my room. I sat and listened for the wind through a crack in the window.

The city night was bustling - and I despised it. I despise people. No one has good intentions anymore. Something inside me just wanted to go home.

"Amoreena, I want you to meet my bandmates. We have my sister Rain, the two Josh's, Tim and Sasa. We are Aleka's Attic," He introduced them and I smiled at them all. All talented people - that's for sure. "Come with us to my family's ranch. We are probably going to play some music and watch some movies."

"I can hang out for a little," I consented with a slight tilt to the head.

~

When we drove down to his ranch, Rain had sat next to me in the car. She had curly black hair that complemented her bright green eyes. She was real pretty. She turned to me.

"Forgive me if I'm wrong, but it seems like you'd rather be anywhere else," she spoke with a faint chuckle, leaning in towards my ear. The car was pretty loud due to the fact that there were 7 people squished in it - as well as instruments.

"Don't be so obvious about it. Rio seems super nice. I'm just not a very sociable person," I explained, instantly feeling bad.

"Don't sweat it. He seems to really like you. You do something to him I've never seen anyone else do. It's magical - whimsical. It inspires him like a superhero inspires a child... A true type of aspiration," she said and I looked at her with wide eyes. She spoke poetry in a world still learning the alphabet. I tried to divert the conversation.

"You guys are really talented."

"As his sister, I think this boy's heart beats out of his chest for you," she diverted my compliment just like I did hers. Clever.

"He barely knows me," I rebuffed, unable to take any form of any compliment - one of my biggest flaws.

"I think that's what he finds so fascinating about you: a quest into the unknown." Once she had said that, the gears in my brain seemed to have turned something on. Like everything about the exciting life of my sister, Carmen, seemed to finally make sense.

"You know, I have a sister too. And I think that's exactly why her friend Asher is hopelessly in love with her: because he knows nothing about her. He has this image of her in his head - one that she's not." Rain raised her eyebrows. She seemed intrigued by the sudden onset of my conclusions.

"Asher the bartender, huh?" I nodded.

"They're like Jules and Billy from 'St. Elmo's Fire' - two people who are meant to be with each other, but never do... Carmen's a ticking time bomb - and only Asher can save her." Rain laughed at my statement - she probably found it funny how I could ramble about my sister's love affairs but couldn't spend a second talking about my impact on Rio.

~

Once we had arrived at the house, Rio led me to the backyard. It was a vast open land full of cattails and common reeds. I could probably run around the open field for hours and not get bored. I guess Rio had seen me staring blankly off into the distance and grazed his hand on my back.

"Follow me," he grasped my hand, and at that very moment and the slightest touch, I felt the silky sensation of our hands intertwining. His fingers were rough, calloused with the imprints of his guitar - but he had a firm grip as if he never wanted to let me go... just like last night at the wedding we crashed.

He lead me to the backyard and we crossed the river. There was a little trail that led around the swamp area. It felt weird walking around with this person who was practically a stranger. He virtually walked into my life and demanded I be a part of his. I guess I could admire that about him.

"Wait, stay right here," he informed as he pulled out a disposable camera. He aligned himself next to me, wrapping his arm around me and pulling me close. I gave a small smirk as he shot a picture of us. "I'll have to get these processed."

"You have those just ready?" I asked, genuinely curious but, simultaneously flattered.

"Not always... anyway, I wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed last night with you..." he trailed off - his gaze watching the willow trees sway in the wind. "I want to get to know you better, but..."

"But, what?"

"You don't seem to open up easily to people," he spoke sullenly. I noticed his hair was long and sandy blonde. He was always combing it back with his twitching fingers.

"It's not that I don't want to be here with you, it's lovely here - really. It's just not easy for me to find joy out of things anymore. All I like to do is just paint. It separates me from the natural world - into one I can call my own," I explained, staring down at my beat-up converse.

"That's how I feel about my guitar - and my band. It separates me from the actor me. It's like a whole new persona if you will," he said. "I'm a musician with a damn-good day job," I smirked at that, I like how he depicted it. "Have you always lived in Gainesville?"

"No, I was actually born in El Barrio, Spanish Harlem in New York City... since I was about 16. My sister is 6 years older than me and she got a place of her own here after she ran out of her wedding." It felt weird talking about myself.

"Why did she choose Florida?"

"I guess she wanted to be somewhere that's warmer. It's practically a whole other atmosphere here," I spoke as I watched him nod his head. The cold wind blew the cattails around - but, for some reason, I felt a type of undeniable warmth when I was around him. "Have you always lived here?"

"I was born in Madras, Oregon... Is Spanish Harlem where you want to be?"

"I don't want to be here, that's for sure," I said, biting my lip with suppressed anticipation. He looked at me in a way as if he could read me.

"Is that so?"

"Sometimes I wish I could be a bluebird... A bluebird of happiness that can just fly away constantly from everyone and everything... That's what my sister used to tell me when we lived in New York. It was almost as if it were our only hope in this sad world."

"What do you want to be? Career-wise?" He asked me as I sat down on a log, him soon joining me.

"A professional artist - to be able to separate yourself from the world and paint at your own demise," I sighed. "I think my inspiration stems off of where I'm from. The people I met in New York... they were one of a kind. For one, my neighbor near my childhood house: they were this old couple... I can't remember their names... but, they came over every day and gave me all of their old art supplies, I used to draw anything and everything... I think I'd just love to get out of this shithole for a town overall."

"Why don't you?" He turned to me with his bright, inquisitive eyes. In that split second, I contemplated over telling him.

"I am. Tomorrow."