My Mistake ⌲ River Phoenix

7; so you're invisible

It was my first day in France, Paris to be exact. It was truly a weird feeling, but I was content overall. Once I unpacked into my one bedroom apartment, a sat at the balcony.

The sun was setting into a bright tangerine color. I looked at the time and noticed it was 7:00 pm, and I had to get to the art store before it closed. If I was going to live here, might as well do something worth while.

I walked down to the metro station and signed up for a pass, soon asking the conductor where the closest art store is.

"Où est le magasin de matérial?" I hesitantly asked him - the rather grouchy man at the stand.

"It is on Avenue Élisée Reclus," he spoke, half English. I didn't question it and soon spend the next 10 minutes trying to understand which train line corresponds with which direction. It was all practically a circle, anyway.

Once I had found the right train, I sat down near the entrance - front row seats to a bald man happily playing an accordion for tips. After 30 minutes or so, my stop was here. I found myself lost in the crowd, feeling an undeniable type of loneliness - the type where you seclude yourself so you're invisible and no one cares to talk to you.

I then pulled out my huge map and started walking down the bustling streets of Paris - sticking out like a sore thumb.

I looked up to see:
AVENUE ÉLISÉE RECLUS

I let out a sigh of relief and ran into the store with 5 minutes left until close. I immediately gravitated towards the canvases and paint brushes. I also started picking at all the oil paint colors - examining the prices. I only had about 20 Euros to spend for today. Which unfortunately meant no dinner if I was trying to get good supplies.

"Que cherchez-vous cinq minutes avant de fermer?" A husky voice had asked to me. I quickly spun around, trying to comprehend what I just heard.

"Parles-tu anglais?" I asked, hoping desperately I wouldn't be here another hour trying to tell him what I want to buy.

"Of course, American," He said with a thick accent, subsequently laughing to himself.

"I just need a canvas and some paint and paint brushes... I mostly just need to decide what color paint I want," I explained as I dug through the oil paint assortments.

"Well, you are from where?" He asked me, raising his eyebrows.

"Gainesville, Florida."

"And what do you miss about it?"

"The beaches."

"Les plages," he chuckled to himself, traveling his eyes out to the glass window that looked out onto the busy streets. "The beaches here are magnifique, you must go sometime."

"That's it! I'll buy blue. I'll paint the beaches here, thank you... what is your name?" I explained with an ecstatic tone. He didn't seem to have a name tag.

"Olivier, and you?"

"Amoreena."

"Amoreena, there is this beautiful beach - Deauville. It is my favorite in all of France," Olivier trailed off as he started stocking up on charcoal pencils on the other side of the shelves. "I'd love to show you it... let's go tomorrow! Yes?"

I felt weird from his sudden inquisition to hang out with some random American he had just met. But, hey, I guess it's good I make some friends while I'm here.

"Alright, but you gotta drive. I don't got a car," I reluctantly agreed.

"Well of course!" He exclaimed as he soon checked his watch, his eyebrows immediately raising.

"It is very late. Let us get you out of here before it becomes night time. We wouldn't want you to have any problems getting back home," he flashed me a sweet smile - one that reminded me much of Rio. But, I shook it out of my brain. I couldn't think of him like that.

~

I made it home safely and unloaded all my new art supplies all over the floor of my room. Dusk had fallen over the French horizon and I had soon found myself falling into a deep sleep.

Morning inevitably broke through the white curtains of my 6th story apartment. I left the balcony open and the wind had greeted me with a warm and welcoming breeze.

I sat there and contemplated over how different my life is now. I didn't have to work long days at the Hardback Cafe anymore, I didn't have to abide by my sister's rules. It was nice.

I did miss Rio though, as much as I didn't want to admit it. He brought me emotion in my otherwise colorless world. I didn't know how to really feel about it - other than ignore it.

Before I knew it, Olivier was at my place and we headed over to the closest beach, Deauville. It was a rather quiet beach considering it was almost Halloween night - although I'm not too sure if it was a European holiday.

We found ourselves sitting on the sand and gazing up at the ocean waves. It was a bright day out - the sun exhibited a bright red-orange glow. I saw kids playing at the shore and parents enjoying the last of the summer sun. Olivier sat beside me and told me about himself as I painted the scenery in front of us.

I found out he was an only child and I told him about Carmen and how I basically lost contact with my parents. He told me he lives with his parents - how they're his best friends. I'm not going to lie, but I felt jealous.

He watched me paint. At times I got irritated by his constant staring - but eventually it grew on me. I could see myself in him. A lonely person just looking for some good company.

He just talked and talked, about his personal life and his interests. I won't lie, it was oddly calming listen to him ramble. It's quite fascinating learning about the other lives people around the would have.

Within the next few hours, I had a painting done with my new blue colors - I just needed to let it dry. It was beautiful. And... I guess you could say I also made a new friend.

~

Around 12am for me, Carmen called. Her voice sounded raspy and she was coughing a lot.

"Is everything okay, Carm?" I asked, pushing myself off the bed, not entirely sure if I wanted to hear the answer.

"Of course! Why wouldn't it be..."

"Because I know you. You didn't call me talking about how cute Asher's hair looked today. All you did was cough and sigh."

"Reena! I lost my job, okay... I didn't want to say anything. You seemed so happy moving to France - that's the most emotion i've seen from you in 19 years..."

"Carm..."

"And... I'm just so far into debt. I thought sleeping with my boss would give me some time to get on my feet again, but so far only a couple of vodka and tonics did the trick," she muttered into the phone and I heard her voice begin to crack. "Can the child within my heart rise above all this adversity?"

"Please go to Asher's house, or something. When you're this down in the dumps - being alone will only be more detrimental," I spoke softly and circumspectly. I knew if I said anything different and in any harsh tone she would break.

Carmen is quite the difficult character to read. It's alarming honestly how charming she could be. Everyone likes her - the way she bats her eyes - it gives everyone butterflies.

However, I knew she was going to break. Someone has to be there to catch her fall. But, the question at hand now is, who?