My Mistake ⌲ River Phoenix

8; i wish i was seeing you more

The painting has dried. It depicted the French waves breaking at the shore. I hung it up on my wall and sat and stared at it. The blue had resembled much of Rio's curious eyes. I began to mentally slap myself. How could I feel so much for a boy I barely knew? How could someone I've known for less than a few weeks cause such a profound lasting impression on my brain?

I sat at the edge of my unmade bed and contemplated if being here in France was really a good idea for me. My sister was deteriorating by the second, the thought of Rio raced around my mind every other second, and I've overall never truly felt more alone.

I decided to go back down to the art store and pick up some more supplies to help get my mind off stuff.

"Welcome back," Olivier smiled as he watched me walk in. I gave him a quick glance of acknowledgment and then head over to the paints, hoping to find new inspiration. "Not much talk today?" he asked, watching as I anxiously twiddled with my fingers. He picked up my hands and held them for a second - and that's when I hastily pulled them back.

"What do you think you're doing?" I asked harshly.

"My apologies, you seemed a little cold," he adverted his eyes away from me.

"That doesn't mean you just touch me like that!" I didn't know why I reacted like this - and why I was practically okay with the fact that Rio held my hands. I never liked when people crossed that boundary but for some reason with Rio, it felt natural.

"You know, it is much colder up here in France than Florida, we have to get you some more clothes," he suggested and I let out a subtle cough.

"I appreciate the concern, but I promise you I'm quite alright," I insisted as he inched closer to me.

"I wish I was seeing you more," Olivier spoke lightly, giving me a brief glance. "No one listens the way you do... merci for your friendship."

"What do you mean?"

"Yesterday, when you were painting. Nobody cares to hear me," he said with a gleaming smile. He had dark, hazel eyes, ones that almost glittered in the light. He also had long brown hair that curled around his ears.

"Well, I don't know how much more you'll be seeing me. I have a feeling I might have to head back home soon," I explained with a dejected tone. Hey, I was sad too, to be potentially losing a good friend.

"Let me come avec toi," he proposed. I shook my head.

"You can't, it's stuff that I need to deal with on my own," I rebuffed.

"I've always wanted to see America, you know. Please let this be a reason I finally go," he begged. I looked at him with wide eyes. This boy, who couldn't have been older than 21, definitely was persistent. I felt dumbfounded.

"You can come with me, but we are not dating, okay? You can come as my friend. I'm not trying to cause even more problems than I already have," I said with a sharp tone. He nodded diligently and soon jumped around with excitement. I couldn't blame him - I had that same feeling when I first moved here.

We then exchanged numbers and I was on my way back to my apartment. As I locked my front door once I walked in, I turned to my desk mirror. I cupped my shaky hands around my cold cheeks and closed my eyes - imagining Rio and the short kiss we shared.

At that precise moment, my phone began to ring, and I reluctantly reached over to grab it.

"Hello?"

"Reena!" It was Carmen. It was nice to hear her voice happy - or so it seems.

"Come talk to this boy, he's rather annoying, you know." I heard a guys voice in the background chuckle.

"Which boy is that?" But she didn't answer, she had given the phone to Rio.

"Hey, Amoreena. I just wanted to check if you were alright. The Hardback is not the same without your incredible waitressing." I smiled to myself as I heard his voice. It was truly the calm in the storm.

"Has anyone even noticed I've been gone?" I chuckled.

"If my name is 'anyone' now, yeah," Rio joked and I rolled my eyes to his subtle flirting. Right then and there I wanted to tell him I missed him.

"Any new Aleka's Attic songs on the radar?" I asked him, attempting to divert the conversation.

"In the works, yeah... I hope you're making a lot of nice friends out there," he spoke with a delighted tone.

"I think I'm starting to find my way," I smirked, trailing off. "Hey, could I ask you a favor?"

"Anything."

"Could you watch Carmen for me? She gets all weird when shit gets hard.. and, I'm not there to constantly check on her-"

"I'll make sure she's okay."

After that, I hung up the phone. I knew Carmen was in good hands - just until I was able to fly back next month.

At that precise moment, I watched as an envelope slid under my apartment door. I slowly walked over to it and picked at it. Who would send me a letter? I peeled it open to be greeted by notepaper with flowers scribbled all over it. It read:

"Amoreena,

I'd give you the sun, the whole sea of stars, every forest of trees, and every garden of flowers. I'd give you the pools of oceans, every countless drop of rain, and colossal mountains, a river of rainbows, and the everlasting sky. Through paradigms of creation and every ounce of time the world will allow me, you are the thing I desire.

River Jude Phoenix."

I had sat there dumbfounded for a good 30 minutes before I mustered enough strength to push myself off the bed. I didn't know what to do. This boy was in love with the idea of me, how could he be? He barely knows me.

I knew what I had to do. I had to go back for him, right? No one has ever come this close to my heart before but him - my mind was constantly racing with the idea of us holding hands and making plans. I've never felt so loved - being with him was like staying in on a rainy night in a warm, cozy cottage. It was home. He is my home, not here.